Me 'n My Laptop

Just a little update for the people

An email I just sent to SFM earlier today:

I'm watching a movie on Sci Fi.  Normally don't watch this channel, but when I was channel surfing, there was a picture of the Golden Gate bridge.  I don't know the name of the movie, but it's about "The Big One".  The earthquake starts in Washington, another in Oregon, then the lady scientist predits San Francisco, but no one believes her.  Sure enough, another earthquake levels San Francisco.  Fema and the President Bo Bridges finally believe her.  She says plant 5 nuclear bombs in certain places, to fuse the previous fault lines to the San Andreas.  Wouldn't you know, they don't get the 5th one deep enough, the cable breaks.  The Fema guy goes down to set it off manually, knowing he won't make it.

 

Wait.  Maybe you're seen it?  Or maybe you're tempted to turn it on.  Kids probably shouldn't watch it.  It's pretty scary and hits too close to home.  It's really good acting and special effects, so pretty realistic.  I'm completely in awe.  And exhausted from watching it - intense!

 

And terrified.

 

Get the hell out of there!!!  If the earthquake doesn't get you, the nukes or the flood will !!!  I better warn Ben too, in San Diego.  If they don't stop it, the entire California coast will disappear. 

 

Okay...

 

In other news, I just got an email with times I'm supposed to work at the Blogher conference.  They want me to confirm my presence.  I should have known better, cause the last 2-3 weeks have been a wake-up call - that I can't promise a damn thing in my life.  If it doesn't get better ... won't be able to help Linda, babysit my grand nephews, OR travel.  I've been laid out flat by this last flare, and am pretty scared.  I know I'm stuck in a vicious circle - losing weight helped.  , but moving hurts like hell. 

 

I need to move to San Francisco.  So we can die to together, friends supporting each other to the end.  Or else one or the other of us will die, without being able to tell each other we came to our senses and love each other after all.  Or we will declare our love to each other and survive against all odds, our newfould strong love carries us thru.  Or else we'll be torn apart and realize we've got to start living our lives somehow and get out of this rut we're in.  Or else, some hero will save me, and I fall in love with him. 

 

HAHAHA - rut.  No pun intended. 

 

Lord, the next movie is about a killer astroid.  Don't know what city it'll be. 

 

Ack, a small one just hit Montana.  There's many "baby" astroids that will hit all over.  This is just great.  You're gonna die in a earthquake, and I'm gonna die under an astroid.  One just hit Coulee Dam.  The big one?  (As in astroid, not earthquake) Kansas City and 70 - 100 miles radius.  Only 2 million people projected dead in this one. 

 

I'm blogging this.  Easier than writing a whole nother post.  People worry when I don't blog for days.  Obsessing over disaster movies is better than nothing.  Better watch what you say, I might blog it too.  I'm in a devil-may-care, fatalistic mood.  My judgement may be marred.  You better say you love me too, it makes for a better story.  Anything for my readers.  Then I will sigh, hold my arm to my head dramatically to my forehead and say, "Too late, I'm gonna jump!."  Jump where I don't know yet.  That is all.  I'm tired now.

Sincerely,

in case we die - love you. 

 

Laurie

 

PS.  Do you think I'm watching too much TV? 

I beg to differ. AGAIN, BEN

Last nite he said he was worried about me cause I haven't posted since the aptop post.  Ahem.  Check again, buddy.  So instead of being worried about me, he should know that I now realize that he doesn't read everyday like he always said he did.  Uh huh.  See how you are. 

But yes, I haven't been posting cause it hurts.  That's just how it is. 

Tonite, I had to tell SFM that I can't meet him in Reno with his kids in the next couple of days.  I think that, more than anything, tells you how bad it's been. 

I slept from 2am to 11am this morning.  Someone called and needed a ride into town, so I took her.  Was gone for a couple of hours.  Fell asleep in my chair when I got back from about 2pm to 5:30ish, when SFM called to find out if I was coming down or not.  And then I went back to sleep.  I don't know if I am needing the sleep or using it as an escape.  I do know the nite before last, at 2am, I was tossing and turning in bed, not wanting to go to sleep for fear of having to wake up again with the pain all over again.  MS pain is always better in the morning, it's like starting over with a clean slate and as long as I keep up with the meds, MS and I have made our peace.  But the arthritis pain is worse, because ... sleeping makes arthritis worse?  Hell, I don't know.  All I know is that I feel like I've been trampled by a cattle stampede.

Speaking of which, I've been watching the CMT channel, with alot of cowboy movies lately.  "Unforgiven" for one.  So I've been dreaming that I'm the lady of the ranch, and somebody is trying to kill someone, and then I have to take care of the fever-stricken pigs by myself, and then somebody burns down the barn, and the neighbors, who all live in town 20 miles away by horseback come and try to put it out with buckets of water, but of course it's too late.  As everyone knows, a lone woman with fever-stricken pigs and a burned down barn is considered down-and-out, and she has to go be a whore in the local saloon.  That or a hero of some sort is supposed to come save her - the cowboy in the white hat.  I guess it says alot about me that so far, in my dreams, I've yet to be saved by the hero, and there's more fun in the whore business.  Wonder what it all means.  Maybe I should stop watching movies with cattle stampedes?  Maybe I should pay more attention to the chickens that run around loose, peacefully pecking the ground.  Then maybe I'd jump out of bed like a spring chicken, all spry-like.

Tomorrow's goal: get to a doctor.  It finally occurred to me that I don't have to see the "specialist" in town.  I haven't had good luck with "specialists" in this town.  Altho, "they" reccommend seeing specialists when one has MS, because it's a complicated thing figuring out what symptoms belong to which problem, but it's not like there's a choice where I live.  My neurologist quit, and is leaving town.  Another tomorrow's goal:  Get my records from him. 

THe Blogher conference is a month away.  Must. Get. Better.

SFM's daughter called to ask me to Reno, so it was extra hard to say I couldn't go.  After telling him I couldn't, I felt a horrible sense of defeat.  It's winning. 

*

PS.

If you keep doing something the same way, it's pretty crazy to think you'll get different results.  Just a special shout-out to someone. 

*

Sonoma

Will TypePad actually post my posts??

This is what the garden looked like in the beginning of May, when by some miracle the landlord had the garden tilled to the depth of oh ... about 2 whole inches AND before Mother's Day.  Quite the event around here. 

Then there was this.  On June 11th.  The white dots are snowflakes.

The weather has taken away my mojo as far as gardening and motivation are concerned. 

And TypePad has taken my blogging mojo ever since it's new changes.  I've had nothing but problems with it.  I just noticed that my last 3 posts didn't publish for some reason. 

Cross my fingers for this one.

Also - I'm convinced that the MS is mad at me, and is letting arthritis do what it couldn't seem to.  Cripple me.  Lordy, this hurts.  SFM wants me to meet him and his kids in Reno this weekend, and I really don't think I can go.  I have to go to San Francisco in the middle of July, and am saving up my traveling energy for that. 

Speaking of traveling, SonOne just got back from Japan.  He climbed Mt. Kil em mem jarro.  Too lazy to Google the correct spelling.  Maybe I should ask him to write about it, and put it on my blog?

*

Pocono Raceway

Much blog businss to take care of today.  First, the race today is at the Michigan International Speedway, in Brooklyn Michigan.  I've missed the last 2 or 3 races, due to Nascar tricking me and holding the races on Saturday nite, when I am busy with a very busy social life.  Snort. 

This was spose to be last week's picture for the Pocono race.  I started the post and never finished it.  I've been doing alot of that lately.

This is Duke, taken when I was in Spokane a couple weeks ago.  Friend Linda and I had taken Duke and Jeff G to the Spokane River, for a bit of water play.  He loves the water as much as ever, and is so fun to watch. 

 

Throw it.

Seriously.  Throw it.

.

Yes!  She threw it!

I get to chase it into the water finally.

Wonder if she'll throw it if I give it back...

This is the dog we were worried about with little kids.  I guess the secret is water, tennis ball, and adult supervision. 

*

I'd bake you a cake but you're too far away

Wishing SanFranMan a Happy Birthday today.  I looked all over for a t-shirt that said "I bought her a laptop, but all I got was this damn t-shirt".  Couldn't find one anywhere. 

It's nice that he's 4 months older than I am - he gets to lead the way into old age.  I can blame him! 

Speaking of SFM, his kids are coming for the summer, for the first long extended visit since they were whisked back east 4 years ago.  He's so ... cute when it comes to his kids - so damn giddy to be seeing them, it's practically impossible to bring him down to earth.  I've said it before and I'll say it again - he's the best father I've ever known, when it comes to loving his kids. 

Happy Birthday, SFM.  I'll bring the laptop to Reno, and we can argue all we want, knowing that we can resolve them all by getting on the Internet. 

*