MS Monday

Good thing today is Monday, because I've designated Mondays to be about MS.  I don't remember if I told you that I'd come up with a new plan to help me write everyday, but it's all about the days of the week.  If I write something about MS, men (dating), or moods, it'll be posted on Mondays.  Also, because I still take pictures of hearts, they'll be posted on Memorial Monday, for Jacob.  You get the idea.

I was doing really well on my marathon (something else to post on Monday!) training (no wait, that was going to be on Tuesday Training ...) until I bought new running shoes.  Which gave me blisters, which is almost impossible to prevent when buying new running shoes, and the reason I'm seriously considering buying a second pair of the same kind right now because I think getting blisters threw me into a flare-up.  A #*%$&*^%$ blister!

I think when you have MS, the body over-reacts to injuries.  Hahaha, who am I kidding?  The body over-reacts to anything.  Ever since getting the blisters, my heels have become more and more ... stiff?  Like the tendons are tightening, and walking is excruciating.  I know I've been in pain before and written about it, but this is one of those times when I am not being over dramatic or exaggerating. 

Yesterday, I woke up around 9am, and checked the Internet to find out when the Nascar race was.  Damn.  It was on Saturday and I missed it.  Went back to bed, and was going to call my mother to see if she would pick me up to go to my niece's bridal shower, which was at noon.  I picked up the phone and ... fell back asleep.  Take a wild guess as to what time I woke up again.

5pm. 

Unfreakingbelieveable. 

So I missed the shower, which I had baked a loaf of bread cause we were spose to bring something edible with the recipe. 

Turns out my mother didn't go, and my niece doesn't like bread.  Fine. 

I can only think that I slept that long because it was a mental escape from the pain.  It's so bad that I'm seriously considering not going to Spokane to babysit Duke if it's not any better next week.  Can you imagine me not wanting to babysit Duke?  Yea, that's how much it hurts.  I am/was planning on going to San Diego after Spokane to go see Ben too, so he can get mad at me now too, if I can't go.  Which reminds me, I need to check the temperature in San Diego.  It was 97 in San Francisco for one day in San Francisco last week, and I had to pretend I didn't hear that.  Because not even I, with my crazy SF love, could not bear 97 degrees. 

It's hard to explain how the temperature affects my MS.  It's not all in my head, I swear.   In Googling heat and MS, I came across this little ditty about sleeping ... .  Well, that might explain the 5pm thing. 

For me, when I get too hot, I can feel my spine begin to tingle or "boil".  I can come to a boil by 5 minutes with the sun on my back, getting my period, getting a fever, taking a shower, or anything else that involves heat.  Like how the temperature is 40 at nite, and 80 during the day.  HATE that.

So, between having blisters, the abrupt temperature changes, working at Wheelie's house, and my garden, marathon training, and my weight gain ... I'm being slammed with MS much like in the very beginning. 

Speaking of the weight, I'm convinced that is the core of the issue.  I'm within 15 pounds of my heaviest weight and it hurts to carry it around.  My back hurts and the only thing that helps is ... a heating pad. 

I feel like I'm caught in a vicious spider web, going around in circles - anything I do makes me pay for it in some physical MS'sy way.  Mentally and emotionally - it's hard to be chipper while trying to make it look "normal".  Because there's a Black Widow hovering over me, just waiting for any weakness so MS can sink it's irreversible symptomy fangs into me. 

*

Comments

[TC]

Geez, what a ride. Talk about circles and dead ends and shit. Come to drumming with me tonight. I think it is at Joe's in Roberts.