Over hill, over dale

Remember CoWinky?  The guy that has so much in common with me?  He's way gay, as much as he tries to tell himself he isn't.  He was molested by a brother when he was young, so he's not sure if he was "trained" that way, or if he would have been naturally.  Plus, he's been excommunicated from the LDS church because it's a sin, so he tries to make himself believe he'd prefer girls.  But he doesn't light up like a giddy teenager when he's thinking about dating a girl. 

I don't know why I brought him up ... there was a reason, but it's slid away behind a plaque, I think. 

I haven't talked about pain and MS lately, have I?  Wanna know why?  Cause I don't have it!!!!  Nope, not me.  I don't have pain and I don't have MS.  So sayeth I.  That's all there is too it. 

I am physically and mentally worn out from having MS.  And from hiding the pain.  I am weary from having a cheerful voice when I am not cheerful.  I HATE the tone of pity that comes across as soon as someone knows I'm in pain.  SFM feels like he can't talk to me, that he's bothering me when I tell him there's pain.  He's the talker between the two of us, but I get even quieter when there's pain, so then I feel boring.  He likes intellectual discussions, and I just don't have it in my game anymore.  Men tend to feel more helpless cause they want to 'fix it', and it isn't fixable.  My sister is THE WORSE when it comes to that pity tone, yet if she ignored the fact that I hurt, I'd be pissed. 

Did you see the widgets with the countdowns for the 5k, and the half marathon?  I start training on Monday.  I got my bike out of Wheelie's basement, and it's now parked behind the couch.  I'll start out with biking for the first week.  I've still got that last 10 pesky pounds to lose, plus the 2nd goal weight loss of 20 pounds, to get to where the charts say I should be.  I'd be happy with just the 10 pounds, but the thought of carrying anything extra around a marathon doesn't sound like much fun, so I'm going for it. 

I like numbers and goals and charts and knowing that I have to do x in order to get to y.  (Who said I'd never need algebra?)  So I'm hoping this marathon thingy will take hold and I'll feel happy again with getting healthy again. 

I need to buy 3 pairs of running shoes.  So they be rotated for drying out between long runs.  There were a couple of other frightening facts I learned from Professor Google while researching how to train for marathons.  The very first thing I read?  Choose a flat road course for your first race.  Snort!  San Francisco? 

Lombard Street, touted as the crookedest street EVA, but San Franciscan's know there's another one more crooked. 

Not my picture, robbed from Google. 

My favorite street.  I LOVE the houses.

                                                                                                                       .                                                                                                                                       

This street is about 6 or seven blocks long.  Uphill.  Unless, of course, if you're going downhill. 

I took this picture, and it bothers me cause even tho I know better, I can't tell if the street is crooked or the houses are crooked. 

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Some famous band used to own this Victorian - it's dark gray/almost black, and I remember thinking the dark house suited the band - whoever they were. 

I tired myself out just looking at the pictures of hills in San Francisco.  Where one would be wise not to do their first distance race on ...

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Comments

[TC]

"Sometimes I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again." It's a song. Gordon Lightfoot. Um. Is there a difference between sympathy and pity? Because what I feel is sympathy, not pity. And helpless. I hate feeling helpless. I don't know what to do or say, so I feel helpless. I know you are hurting and there isn't shit I can do.

[Friday]

Hey! That was easy. Okay, here goes. I don't have MS and I'm not in pain either. So sayeth, MsShad!

I know exactly what you mean about the pity bit. I wonder if that ever gets any easier for our friends / family. I don't mention it unless my pain makes me want to jab pencil in their eye.

I so admire you for tackling this marathon thing. You're a better woman than I!

*hugs*

[TC]

I witnessed the start of the tackling of the marathon thing!!! MsShad was walking her darling puppies yesterday and I looked straight at her and the dogs and didn't even recognize them! Some sister I am! Anyway, she STARTS!

[mdmhvonpa]

Heh ... power of thought to overcome MS ... if only ... if only.

[wholesale wallets]

Hey,this is one of the best posts that I’ve ever seen; you may include some more ideas in the same theme.Great interview and page layout! I’m still waiting for some interesting thoughts from your side in your next post.
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