Me 'n My Laptop

Ain't got nuttin

I haven't got anything of worth to write.  This morning I had this -

I never had a problem with farting until the cats moved in.  And I've been blaming the dogs.  Last nite, while not being able to sleep because I was busy searching for an axe so I could chop off my feet, it became abundantly clear who was stinking up the building.  The dogs were at the end of the bed, and the cats were at pillow level.  It was bad,  people.  Boy cats are evidently very rude. 

So you can understand why I've stayed away from blogging. 

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Just Call Me Empty

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This is Happy here, talking from San Francisco

My last nite in San Franciso.  Hate that, don't you?  Of course you do - you want me to be happy. 

I'm pretty sure that when I move here, I'll have to stop driving.  Which is okay, since there's public transportation on every corner.

Yesterday, we went to the beach and Golden Gate Park.  Looked and looked for a coffee place "just around the corner", passing many, many corners until we finally gave up and found a St*rbucks.  Love those Peppermint Mocha's - double shot please. 

The trip out here was fantastic.  I do fly free because my son is employed by the airline, but it is "stand-by".  I got on the plane in Idaho Falls to Boise with no problem.  My son thought the problem would be getting out of Boise to Seattle.  But I got off the plane in Boise and walked straight to the plane for Seattle, which was already loading.  Stand-by's are supposed to wait quietly, hoping to be called when all the paid passengers are loaded.  I started to find a seat, thinking I'd have to wait for the next flight, but the lady called my name - I was the only stand-by, AND there was ONE SEAT LEFT!  I said "You're kidding!", and would have jumped up and down, had I been able to, but that is one of the things MS won't let me do - oddly.  So I flew from Boise to Seattle, got off the plane in Seattle, and headed for the plane leaving for San Francisco - got right on.  I didn't sit at any airport except the first one - awesome.  Which probably means it'll take 4 days to get home.  The dogs are paid up at the kennel till Tuesday, before noon.  I leave tomorrow at 1pm - wish me luck.

I do things here that I don't do anywhere else. 

I'll leave you with that.  Ha.

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Just Call Me Satisfied

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Tagged

mdmhvonpa of Axiom Redux tagged me to blog 8 things you don't already know about me.  Crimony, I don't even know 8 things I don't know about me!

1.  I was the tether ball champion in ... 4th grade?  I LOVED tether ball. 

2.  My first car was a GLC Mazda hatchback.  GLC = Great Little Car.

3.  I raised lambs when I was a member of the FFA = Future Farmers of America. 

4.  I was also a member of the Crops Team, where we'd travel to different high schools to compete.  There would be tables and tables of crops seeds, weeds, plants in various stages of growth, and we had to identify them.  Also judged beef, sheep, and pigs, rating worst to the best, as far as how much good meat each animal would produce once butchered.  Was also on the teams that played with Parliamentarian Procedure, and the Public Speaking Team.  We were pretty good, winning several tournaments, but never the state championship, altho we made it there a couple of times.  I have NO idea if I'm remembering that correctly.

5.  I've actually been to a Nascar race - I'm not all bluff and no action.  I put my money where my mouth is.  Well, somebody else put his money where my mouth was. 

6.  I had two boyfriends with the name 'Dan'. 

7.  I don't really love my dogs, travelling, Nascar, San Francisco, or wicker.  I've been lying on the blog all along. 

8.  I let the best one get away.

Consider yourself tagged, and respond in the comments.  I'd love to not know about you.

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Just Call Me a Mystery

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Ten on Tuesday

Ten on Tuesday - 10 Reasons why it's Great to be a woman (or man):

1.  Multiple orgasms

2.  Our luggage gets carried for us.

3.  It's okay to be giddy dumb over our pets. 

5.  That having babies thing.  Some parts of it. 

6.  No one thinks you're gay if you like everything to match.

7. 

Then there's extra credit for doing 10 Things We Are Grateful For:

1.  Muttin

2.  Jeff

3.  Son

4.  Duke

5.  Mom

6.  Sister

7.  Barf

8.  Hiney

9.  SanFranMan, Best Friend, Ben, ReikiMan, and Oprah

10. Plants - cause all they require from me is water and light. 

Okay I cheated.  But saying Family, Pets, Friends - would have used up only three reasons.  Wait.  Maybe I can be more inspiring.

10 Reasons I am Thankful for:

1.  Pain - it makes me a better person.  And long-siffering people are always wonderful to be around.

2.  MS - because it knocked me to my knees made me more ... tolerant of imperfection. 

3.  Doctors - for the wonderful job they do in helping me.

4.  Living with old people - they have alot to teach me, whether I want to learn or not.

5.  Being on disability - work isn't all it's cracked up to be, right? 

6.  My home health aide - who wants to do dishes and vaccum?

7.  My devoted sister - who takes care of my money cause I'm an idiot.

8.  My son - cause he makes me evalutate myself all the time, and looking back in the past is always an exercise of pure pleasure. 

9.  Friends, family, and pets - for enriching my small life in such wonderful ways.

10. Needing help - it has made me more humble, and taught me to say thank you.  Alot. 

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Just Call Me Alive

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Bleh

If I'm too depressed to fly to San Francisco for Thanksgiving, does that mean hell has froze over again? 

Then there's tentative plans for San Diego (heads up, Ben!) for Christmas. 

The responsiblilty of the dogs and cats just weighs so heavy sometimes.  I hate putting them in the kennel, altho they did just fine.  And I hate asking others to look in on them. 

The weather sucks. 

Update: 

Something seems to be wrong with my Firefox browser, which is what I usually use.  I've written a couple more posts in the last 2 days, and for some reason, they didn't show up.  Also can't see the banner, or most of the colors in Typepad.  I just now tried it in Explorer, and it works perfectly.  ??  Weird. 

I will write more on the Adult Child Poll in a bit.  Altho, I think Walls said it all.  I wish she'd tell us how she really feels.  Heh.

I was depressed about San Francisco a few days ago - that post hadn't showed up till I fixed it today in Explorer.  All I can figure out is the weather is a HUGE factor in my moods.  The sun showed up yesterday, today is a bee u tee ful day, altho there is some damn snow on the ground, but I feel GREAT!  Bring it ON, Snow God.  I just won't come home from San Francisco, uh huh.  I'll show you, stupid Snow God. 

More later, have to go take care of my drunk and my millionaire this morning. 

Vote next door

Prompted by VetMan's comment, I designed the poll you see to the left.  I need as many people as possible to weigh in with their vote, to give the poll validity.  To have only three votes doesn't tell us much ... unless of course, all three votes are the same, I suppose.  There's a money bet going on, depending on the results.

Pertinent facts that may matter to you:

Adult child is over 25

The father of said child was not involved in the child's life, nor did he pay child support during the time of offspring's childhood.

The "bad history" regarding new person is the rumor that killed the marriage of said child over 2 years ago.   

The mother, being smarter than said child thinks she is, opened the door several times for child to admit they were seeing new boy/girlfriend, by straight out asking 3 or 4 times.  The answer was always "No", altho one time child said they were "going to" once the divorce was final.  Even so, the most recent response was "No". 

Child came to visit the mother not too long ago.  New boy/girlfriend was living with them at that point.  Did not mention the news at that time.

The reason why child did not tell the mother was not because there are mother/child issues, such that child felt the mother would go hysterical, ballistic, or any other over-reactive emotion.  It was because "the situation was awkard".  Yet, child was able to tell the father, even tho it was awkward there too.  Course, child had to tell father because child works for father. 

Mother's response when told that new boy/girlfriend was living with them, was surprise and "how come you didn't tell me", referring to, of course, to the fact that she had asked several time before, opening the door for him/her to tell the mother.  There was nothing negative from the mother regarding new person - just surprise, and thinking "wow, this must really be something since he/she held on to it for so long, waiting for the divorce to be final before contacting new person, again, referring to the time child said "he/she were "going to" contact new person after divorce was final, or that the ex husband/wife were to begin a new relationship first.  Which the ex-relationship did about 3 months ago. 

Mother did not find out the real rest of the facts until several days later, told by someone else in the family.  The new boy/girlfriend had moved in 2 months ago, and had met the father's side of the family several times. 

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About to Collect Big Money?
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PS.  This post will self-destruct after a certain amount of time.

Hell Hath Froze Over

There were two really major things that happened, and it's going to be difficult to write in such a way as to protect other people's privacy, and still express what I need to.  Because writing is how I heal, and there is some much needed healing. 

Hell froze over because I had dinner with the father of my children this week.  Let's all be silent for a moment - it was that big of a deal for me.

To be continued ...

According to Wikipedia

"Lying by omission

Lying by omission is when an important fact is omitted, deliberately leaving another person with a misconception. This includes failures to correct pre-existing misconceptions."

Hmmm.  Kinda what I thought too.  Too bad the person that needs to see this doesn't read the blog.  This person needs a character make-over. 

So the question to be asked would be ... Am I not worth telling the important things?
Or.

What was neglected to be told ... must not be worth mentioning. 

I want to tell this person to write the definition on the chalkboard 100 times. 

*****

In other news, I might be going to San Francisco for Thanksgiving.  I dunno if I can stand it tho.  My dogs are going to have abandonment issues.  I can't remember if it was Thanksgiving or Christmas for visiting Ben in San Diego.  ??

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Just Call Me Over-booked
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Wild blue yonder

I'm off to Spokane tonite/morning at 4am.  I'm ridiculously excited to see Duke.  Not so excited about SonOne telling me his vehicle is broken, and I will be vehicle-less. 

Am all packed.  He's got a computer, so I'll be blogging all the cute macho things Duke does. 

Hate hate hate leaving my dogs.  Ben wants me to come visit him in San Diego this Thanksgiving, but leaving my dogs twice in one month will send me back into therapy.  And Muttin just won't stand for it.  I'm going to ask how much it would cost for them to fly - but SonOne says he wouldn't do that to Duke ... but Duke wouldn't fit under the seat.  My dogs would, but you're only supposed to have one "item" to put under the seat.  I'd have to ask another passenger to share their space.  Some nice man.   I don't have a man in Spokane ... need to remedy that!  A man in every port - that's what I say. 

So I'm off.  Wheee.  Did I mention 4am in the freaking morning?

Must thank my sister and niece for helping me with the dogs and kennel situation. 

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Just Call Me  Free  Flyer

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Texas Motor Speedway

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Three more races to go.  Gordon is still first in the Championship, but not by much.  Jimmie Johnson is close behind.  Today's race is at the Texas Motor Speedway. I almost can't stand to watch it.  He's sooo close. 

Today's Plan:  Unpack, find something of someone else's that I lost which is fairly important, pack, make list of things that have to be done before Wednesday, including dropping in at the kennel a couple of times to make sure they've got the heat on.  They didn't the day I was there cause it was warm and sunny, but they were working on the radiant heat that warms the cermet floor.  There was also regular heat, and a wood stove.  I'm hoping they won't be busy, so I can put their crate in a larger kennel.  The crate is their security. 

Also have to bring the kittens home, have dinner with Wheelie, and make a list.  Did I mention that? 
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Just Call Me Go Gordon
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Home again

I'm back home, only to leave again this coming Thursday.  Going to go babysit Duke ! while my son goes to Vegas for the weekend.  With his girlfriend ?! 

The kitties are still at Wheelie's house, so she can test out taking care of them while I'm gone.  Found a kennel for the dogs, and will spend the next few days stressing about leaving them. 

VetMan and I went to a Halloween party.

Him:  Wear denim.
Me:  Denim? 
Him:  As in jeans.
Me:  Jeans?  I don't have jeans.  But I do have denim pants.  And denim shoes.  And a denim shirt too.  Or a denim skirt.  No, can't wear the denim shoes with a skirt. 
He:  Okay.  Pick you up at 8 o clock.
Me:  But ... what am I going as?  Levi?  A ... blue ... sausage?  What?
He:  Never mind, I'll tell you when I see you.
Me:  Well, at least it's easy.  But I don't know these people so you better not make me look like an idiot by not having a costume after all.
He:  Bye.

So I wore denim.  He wore denim, including a cap, which I stole.  Then he slapped a name tag on me with "Jean" on it.  He had a name tag with "Gene".  We went as ... a pair of jeans.  Haha.  We were a hit, but didn't win the prize. 

As it turns out, VetMan and I have a previous connection.  As I listened to him and his friends reminisce about the past, the parties and parking on Steptoe Butte, I about fell over in my wine cooler.  SonOne was born in Colfax, Washington, lo those 26 years ago.  I told the group that fact, and that we lived at the base of the butte in a little white farm house.  VetMan about fell over in his beer at that point, saying "We own that house".  !!!  I misunderstood and assumed that it meant my husband had worked for his family, but no, his family had bought that house and land 20 years ago.  Small world. 

Someday, I'll have to delve into all the coincidences in my life. 

Anyways, VetMan stayed an extra week so he could go to the party and also my birthday.  He's leaving for parts unknown to Argentina tonight.  Again without Internet.  I tease him about being a boy toy (not my boy toy, I am as pure as the driven snow at this point) without a real job and he needs to get a life.   The fact that he travels the world, learning how to vet zebras and tigers and elephants sounds too exotic - certainly no life to have.  I've often wondered how he could afford his lifestyle - now I know.  Maybe I should become Mrs. Land Baron. 

It's a toss-up.  I've often said my next love will be with a Harley and the man that goes with it, so I could claim to be a "biker chick".  Wearing leather. 

San Francisco reared it's head again in my life by popping up in unexpected places.  Twice on TV, the shows based in SF and also a book that I picked up is based in San Francisco.  As I told SanFranMan, it's strange feeling homesick for a place I've never lived, but it's as real can be.  He's not understood "the dream", but he seems to have found the place he belongs too.  Hopefully ... someday we'll both have what we want. 

I've had a bad couple of days with the pain.  I'm up two more doses of meds than normal.  With every little flare-up, I get scared that it's going to go back to how it used to be, with the fatigue making me not be able to do anything.  On the other hand, looking so damn normal and healthy makes it really hard for people to understand that I really do have limitations.  I tend to hide it for the most part, but my voice and face give it away to the people who know me well.  Which blows the facade, damn it. 

More on MS later.  I've got to unpack from being at Wheelie's for the last two weeks, then I need to pack for Spokane.  And figure out how PPGuy is going to get his "supplies" while I'm gone.  Getting him an aide is not going as hoped for - and I'm getting burned out.  I struggle with the whole issue anyways, and now he's pissing me off.  It's just plain laziness not flushing the toilet.  He puts his beer cans in grocery sacks, and they surround him in his chair.  The futon mattress is saturated with urine, and he's now sleeping on the floor.  He thinks he and I can put the futon on a grocery cart to get it out of there, when the damn thing weighs a ton being soaked.  He can barely walk.  The other day, I walked in and he was crawling on the floor, heading for the toaster so he could light his cigarette.  I told him he needed to be in assisted living if he was crawling on the floor, but he said it was because he stood up too fast.  Whatever.  His caseworker and I formulated a plan to turn him into Adult Protection, where they can just take him to someplace that will care for him because he's not taking care of himself.  Since he owes me money, and hasn't got his check yet, I asked if we could wait and "threaten" him with being turned in, and that if he didn't start eating, flushing, and taking his beer cans to the garbage, we'd call them.  I told him yesterday, and he says he'll do it.  I know he won't.  It's the bare minimum he can do, and I know he won't.  I think I'll have another talk with him about dying.  It dawned on me that last time, when he said he didn't want to die, that he thinks that I'll report him being suicidal if he tells me he wants to die.  In the counseling world, by law you're supposed to report anyone who is suicidal.  Then they get sent to the Behavior Health Center.  He knows this.  I think I need to tell him I won't report it if he tells me that he's knowingly starving himself to death.  Because I need to know if I walk in there one day to find him on his last legs whether I'm to call the ambulance or not.  And he needs a Living Will stating he wants "DNR".  Do Not Resuscitate". 

Heavy issues, this.  I seem to be drawn to them.  Because I'm good at it.  Most people are uncomfortable talking about death, but to me, it's part of life.  Ironic - that sentence.   

Jacob has been on my mind alot for the last couple of weeks.  Probably because I turned 50 years old, and don't like it one bit.  Too much looking back.  And just now, I suddenly remembered that Steptoe Butte is where I spread Jacob's ashes. 

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Just Call Me Contemplative

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