Warning: Somewhat X-rated. Especially X-rated if your mother is reading.
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We're stopping at a drugstore for his cigarettes. I'm staying in the car cause I'll have no part of buying cigarettes for anyone. I have standards that way.
She: Pick me up some K-Y Jelly while you're in there.
He gives me a horrified look.
He: I am not buying that!
She: (Color me amused, is that a threat to a man's manhood, I wonder?)
He: You don't need it, you were wet.
She: Not wet enough.
He: You were fine.
She: I was not, it almost hurt. And it'd be easier for you to get in if I were wetter, wouldn't it?
He: I'll cum next time, and it'll be wet enough.
She: FINE! Whatever!
He: FINE!
He opens the car door and gets out.
She: I'm at that age you know.
It occurs to me...he says I'm wet enough, so maybe it's finally happened... my vagina has MS and I can't tell what the hell is going on down there. Great. My worse nightmare has come to pass.
He comes back, and the conversation continues.
She: So did you hear me say that I'm at that age where K-Y Jelly may be necessary and it's normal? (Cause god forbid we threaten men their menhood!)
He: ?
She: Menopause.
He: Hmm.
She: Altho... I think my period has been trying to come, but it's having the decency to hold off till after our rendezvous.
He: Nice.
She: Yup.
He: Well, you did get hot last nite....
He's talking about how after some adult playtime in the adult playpen, I suddenly needed all the covers off, traded my flannel nightgown for a Cotton t-shirt, turned down the heat... I thought it was normal MS heat issues, but maybe it was a hot-flash? He can't stand my heat issues, always concerned that I'm going to be cold, cause he needs 3 quilts to my one sheet, and he'll sneak more covers on top of me after I fall asleep. This drives me crazy, but his concern is real, so I try to keep quiet and kick off the covers after he's gone to sleep. Hot flashes will be more traumatic for him than me, at this rate.
We're both quiet for a couple of minutes.
She: Is it normal for people to have conversations like we just had?
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Disclaimer: The names have been changed to "He" and "She" to protect the privacy of said individuals. It's such a clever disguise, it's no use trying to figure out who these 2 individuals are.
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Jacob Poems
Ummm. No. You are not normal. You are Not normal. Keep saying that to yourself. "I am not normal" That's what you say.. Mom, don't read this. It's nasty.
Posted by: TC | Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 03:25 PM
too late, arrrgggg
Posted by: Poogie | Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 10:40 PM
I'm trying to understand why you feel the need to share.
Posted by: Poogie | Wednesday, January 24, 2007 at 09:38 AM
Passing by looking for blogs to review on my MS related blog and popped in. When I was diagnosed in 2000 my labia were so numb I swear you could have nailed them to boards. In fact now I wish I did...and filmed it, can you imagine what that would have been worth on the internet!?
:)
p.s. my partner doesn't undestand the MS heat thing either...he is a total reptile and needs to be on a hot rock all the time. Me? I prefer one leg under the covers and that is it...
Posted by: Allison | Wednesday, January 24, 2007 at 05:20 PM
I don't know if it's normal or not.
Have that conversation with me, and we'll see, he said, with a lecherous grin.
Posted by: VetMan | Thursday, January 25, 2007 at 06:09 AM