January 24th Blues

I'm fighting the inevitably depression I always get when I come home from traveling, and also the damn pain.  I get sooo sick of the pain.  Which begs the question... what came first, the pain or the depression?  Is the pain worse because of the depression?  Does depression make the pain worse?  I spose I could go back on the Wellbutrin.  Okay FINE I WILL!

I actually called a counselor the other day when I thought I was still IN love with SFM, I was that panicked.  I haven't followed up, but maybe I should.  If I don't move or have hope of moving, I think February might kill me.  February is always bad, mood-wise.  I dread it.  Believe me, you will too, should you continue to read my blog.  Reading the blog thru February will be an exercise in patience and stamina. 

So.  I need to a goal. 

Name me a goal.  Quick.

Oh, well this explains it.  It's not IN love issues, pain, or below zero temeratures after all.  Foolish me. 

When I get like this, I fall back on posting posts from the past.  Things I wrote many a year ago.  Which tends to cause a bit of confusion, so if you read a love poem about a tall blond with a Harley motorcycle, no I haven't met someone new in the last 3 days.  It's just a blast from the past because the present feels like oatmeal without raisons to get thru. 

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Comments

[TC]

I'm stuck. Hell, not only can I not even come close to giving you a goal, I don't have any goals for myself! Maybe I should be depressed, too. ... ... Never mind. I don't have the energy to be depressed.