Me 'n My Laptop

SonOne

It's my baby's birthday today.  Happy Birthday, SonOne!  His birth made me a mother, and it made me realize I was a wife too.  Cause while they were trying to get him out, with one nurse leaning over me, with her arms on my belly, pushing, they all kept saying "Mrs. MyName".  I was so pissed off to think my mother-in-law was in the delivery room with me.  It wasn't until much later that I realized that I was also "Mrs.Myname", too.  Since I'd married her son and all...

Maybe... geez, here's a thought.  Maybe that's when the MS started?  Hahaha.

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Wednesday Hump Day

It's Wednesday Hump Day.  I know what the hump part means, and I think the Wednesday part means you have to answer the questions or else Thursday will never come... yes, I know that it's late Wednesday, but I've done my part - Thursday will come for me. 

Favorite rock band?  Never liked rock, so didn't pay attention to band names, and so don't know what songs I did like went with which band it beloned to.

Favorite 80s song?  Oh please.  Like I could remember.

Favorite bassist?  Hound.  Preferably potty trained. 

Favorite male singer?  Growing up, it was Neil Diamond.  Now it's Josh Groban.

Favorite female singer?  Growing up it was Judy Collins. Right now it's Eva Cassidy.

Favorite Beatle?  Volkswagons, of course. 

Favorite song for singing along?  Rythm of My Heart by Rod Stewart.  And God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood.

Well, that was fun.  Now it's time to move on to Thursday Love.

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Nothing. You can just skip reading this one.

I get to go Out again today!  I bet you're thinking Curves, big whoopee.  Nooooo.  I get to go to the pee doctor again.

I think I have a bladder infection, but never really know cause if there's pain involved, I can't feel it.  It's as if the innards are completely numb, and I don't feel that pain... just the lucky ducky nerve endings.  When you say you think you have a bladder infection, they let you walk in.  Last time I did this, there wasn't an infection, so that was embarrassing.  Nice to go right in tho. 

Is anybody else SICK to death of the news media?  Between the political stuff and the celebrity stuff, I'm wondering what our priorities are.  I cannot STAND how CNN, FOX and MSNBC dissect some sentence some politician said to the nth degree. 

Update:  I typed the above this morning.  When I went to town, it was about noon.  I had forgotten to take any meds all morning... cause I didn't have any pain?  Got home after the 2 quickest doctor appointments EVER.  One for renewing scripts and the pee doc.  In both places, just walked right in, signed in, sat down for 2 seconds and they called me.  I expected to wait at least an hour at the pee doc, since I hadn't made an appointment.  I noticed the pain in Wal-Mart, and stressed about it.  Decided to get back home quickly, rather than stopping by my sister's work.  I knew I was gonna pay for it big time. 

Got home and had to lay down on the couch all day and couldn't stand anything touching me.  It's almost midnite, and I've not walked or done anything but lay on the couch.  I've taken way too many pills and still want to cut off my feet. 

It's pretty normal for me to sleep only 4 to 5 hours a nite.  When I go to bed at a reasonable hour, like 11pm, then I wake up at 3:00am and can't go back to sleep.   I call those early morning hours the dead hours.  Can't call anybody, just the bobbing heads on TV discussing what Hillary meant when she said whatever she said that day.  It's too cold to walk the dogs. 

Typing hurts.  Duke has vomited for the 4th time.  Cause I gave him a real bone to chew on.  He's got the most sensitive tummy.

That is all.

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I totally get it now

       Period: 

1. An interval of time that an event, chain of events, instance or happening, takes place within. It is measured between a start point and an end point and generally repeats, or progresses, in acycle with the end point of one period being the start point of the next.

Serenity serenity, wherefore art thou?

I went "out" today.  To Curves!  Can I quit writing now?  Okay, inside joke.  You'd have to read this post to understand. 

Theresa of Paper Rock Scissors described what I want for myself by going to a Yoga Class.  I don't think Idaho has ever heard of Yoga.  There's one on every corner in San Francisco. 

I'm in a bit of a depressed funk because of SanFranMan.  He made a serious mistake this morning in his email to me.  I don't remember the words exactly but it was something to the effect ... reading one of my  conversations with the dogs (complete with pictures) was a bit... tedious???

Sniff.

For some reason, I just now remembered that I promised him if I ever wrote about him, I'd let him read it first.  Ooops on the K-Y Jelly post.  Well, because of his email?  Paybacks a bitch. 

I'm all over the place today. 

As I was walking down my hallway, keeping my hand on the wall to be steady, as I was somewhat MS'y after my workout at Curves, I thought I don't think about MS hardly anymore.  The only time I really do is when I'm blogging, when I pee my pants, and when I take my meds. 

Blogging:  Damn the title of the blog, what can I come up with today?

Peeing pants:  Damn this.  Now I have to take a shower, and find something else to wear cause I haven't done laundry, and I hate doing laundry. 

Taking meds:  This I do almost by rote when and if I remember to take them.  It helps that I'm taking them only twice a day, instead of every four hours.  I guess because of the pain, I can't really say I don't think about MS anymore.  I'll amend it - I don't think about MS 24/7 like I used to.  Someone told me, when I was squirming about going on Disability, that I would have to make my health become my 8 to 5 job.  At the time, the thought of doing that was beyond my comprehension, because I could barely walk with a can or a walker and the pain was taking over.  But it's true - by walking the dogs 42 times a day, going to Curves and doing Pilate's and yoga at home... I'm taking care of my health pretty much 8 -5.  And it shows.  I've lost a total of 58 pounds last year, and kept it off.  Keeping it off is the challenge, and it's fairly easy for me.  I've got another 20 pounds to lose and then my weight will not be an issue anymore.  It goes up around 7 pounds each month with my period and fun times like Reno  and San Diego, but that's okay, because it's fairly easy to lose it again.  I don't come unglued about it. 

I feel another rant coming on.  Who the hell came up with calling it a "period?"  Another insider story - new readers would have to read the "Secrets I Should Keep" category.  Did I already rant about this? 

Seriously now, about Theresa's post.  I've been to yoga classes and remember the serenity.  I want that back.  During my recent massage, there was soothing music and aroma therapy going on.  I could feel my body relax so easily.  In fact, the masseuse told me that he didn't feel any knots or tightness anywhere.  Between me not being able to feel some parts of it (I couldn't tell what he was doing to my feet or hands) and him saying I was very relaxed - kinda makes a $90 massage a bit too expensive.  But as SFM said, now I've tackled an issue that was troublesome (because of the abuse, the thought of having a massage made me squiggy)   When I went back to my room SFM had set $50 in my drawer cause he wanted to help pay for it.  So, really it was a fantastic $40 massage! 

I want serenity back.  There is none in Idaho.

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So much for keeping a list

When I went to a file in My Documents that I keep blogging ideas in, I had this -

1.  Rent myself out as the second rider

2.  Relax Inn

3.  Peeing in the stall next to me

???

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Again, with the Vagina - the doctor said to exercise it

I peed my damn pants the other day.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

The pee doc recommended Kegels, because I said once it started, there is no stopping it, and it is the most helpless feeling. 

Try standing there, and watching your pants darken as you stand there.  We (the dogs and I) had just walked in the front door of the complex, and I knew it was close.  It's a complicated matter getting 3 dogs in the door, and we have to close it too, and Duke complicated things by putting his tennis ball down )&&)@))&^ three times, and I had to tell him to pick it up three times.  Then a senior started a long-winded story about walking her dogs when her babies were in a stroller 72 years ago, and I kept walking and she kept talking and I was way down the hall, and she couldn't see me, but she kept talking, and I kept saying uh huh, and then finally, I peed as I was about 10 feet from my front door, so I yelled down at her "gotta go pee, byeeee", and stepped inside my apartment before anyone could see me. 

Whew.  I do believe that was a run-on sentence.  Kinda like run-on pee!

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As youuuu wishhhhh

Oh the pressure, the pressure.  One reader thinks I've fallen off the earth cause I haven't posted since Friday, and another reader wishes I would post less pictures and do more writing. 

It's the pictures that usually spark my writing, sniff.  At the same time, I hate uploading the pictures cause it takes sooooo much time (like 3 entire minutes). 

So here it is.

Duke keeps moaning.  I think he's got arthritis.  There's one section of our walk where he's afraid to cross a little bridge that goes over the canal.  So he goes down into the canal, and it's a steep little hill getting down and then up again.  Dunno what he's gonna do when the water comes back in the spring.  If we do the bridge at the beginning of the walk, he cries with pain when he jumps back up the bank.  If we do the bridge at the end of the walk, he bounds up like the athlete he thinks he is.  So of course, we do the bridge last. 

Gosling said I used to write about "going out" more.  I asked as "going out" the front door into the world, or "going out" with boys.  She said I used to go to Curves.  I had to laugh.  So I'll write more about "going out".

Today, yesterday, and last Friday and Thursday... I did not go to Curves.  Of course, I could draw out this writing gig by assuming the question would be "Well, why didnt' you go to Curves, Laurie?".  And the answer would be... I dunno.  Didn't wanna.  Can't remember what I was busy with instead...

Okay.  That's it.  Oh wait.  I could share a bright and stimulating chat I had with Ben this afternoon. 

McShadow : k
McShadow : know how to know if you're eating healthy?
McShadow : hmmm?
McShadow : guess
McShadow : cause I'll bet you don't know
McShadow : hurry
Ben: enlighten me
McShadow : your poop will float
Ben: really
McShadow : yup
Ben : i never knew that
McShadow : I'm sitting here nodding my head firmly
Ben : mine goes straight to the bottom.lol
McShadow : the only reason why I mention it....
McShadow : well
McShadow : because mine just floated
Ben : way to go!
Ben : rofl
McShadow : and I remembered reading about it a long time ago
Ben : I'll make a note
McShadow : do
McShadow : but.... it was green
McShadow : that's kind of worrisome
Ben :  (makes a green urpy face)
McShadow : lolol
Ben : did you eat lots of iron food?
McShadow : nope
McShadow : well wait
Ben : greens, liver, etc
McShadow : I eat ALOT of raisons
McShadow : but hell... I'm used to eating raisons
McShadow : was never green before
Ben : you had somethig with iron babe
Ben : that one i know
McShadow : what is eggplant?
Ben : thats why babies poop green, most of that baby food ios full of iron
Ben : there ya go
McShadow : hmmm
McShadow : you may be right
McShadow : I'm blogging this
Ben : oh my
Ben : i guess i should say somethign provokative then
McShadow : and spell correctly
Ben : that two
Ben : ready?
Ben : "Trouble rodes a Fast horse"
Ben : rides
Ben : so much for spelling
McShadow : you're incapable
Ben : of what?
McShadow : of spelling right
Ben : well, im an excellent speller, justa lousy typist

And as it turns out, we went over why I don't go to Curves much anymore. 

Ben : so why did you become disenchanted with curves?
McShadow : got mad at the owner
McShadow : plus I quit losing weight
Ben : but you could stay healthym, yes?  Get that cardio thing going and all
McShadow : the last four months, didn't lose anything weight wise or inches wise
McShadow : and when I questioned the owner about it
McShadow : she shrugged her shoulders
McShadow : plus when I wanted to order 2 shirts, she wouldn't change the order date to the next day, when I would have money. 
McShadow : when there was only one other order
Ben : i remember that
McShadow : the order date was a Thursday, the 28th
McShadow : when everyone in retail knows that paydays are Fridays, every other Friday, on the 1st and the 15th, and sometimes on Mondays
McShadow : she lied to me and said she had 7 orders
McShadow : later on, another employee who had heard about my hissy fit, told me that there was only one other order
McShadow : I hate liars
Ben : ok
McShadow : so I was going to go to the Curves in Rexburg
McShadow : but then I got that ticket in Rexburg
McShadow : so that ended driving to Rexburg
Ben : yep
McShadow : cause I figure Rexburg only has one cop and he knows me now!
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Toes and Windows

Sniff.  I did this in Reno, and don't know how or when.  Couldn't feel it!

 

When I walk the dogs at nite, most people have their curtains/blinds up.  Some people don't and it's just common courtesy not to look in their windows.  Duke, however, does not have any manners in this regard.  He walks down the entire courtyard with his head turned so he can look in the windows.  Worse... he stares!  Then he'll walk up to the ones that don't have curtains or blinds and just stare in while wagging his tail. 

Embarrassing. 

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The ONLY heart in Reno

You know I had to play this machine in Reno.  I didn't win anything.  Stupid machine. 

Considering both our addictive and/or compulsive natures, it's surprising that neither of us like to gamble much.  We sat down at a 21 table?  Should have had the Alan Funt cameras there.  I didn't know how to play, and he didn't know the body language required.  He kept putting both hands on the cards, and the dealer would swat one of them down, saying "Only one hand, sir".  At first, I looked behind us for a Sir, but realized he was talking to SanFranMan.  Tapping the table twice with your cards means "Hit me again", meaning give me another card.  The goal is to get as close to the number 21 as you can, and beat the dealer.  I wasn't quite sure what face cards were worth, and if the ace was a 1 or a 10, so I kept leaning over to ask SFM.  Our lip counting alone as I added the numbers in my hand were enough to tip off the dealer, I'm sure.  Or I'd whisper "How much is the ace worth again?".  Luckily we were the only ones at the table, so we embarrassed ourselves privately.  I came away with 4 chips and tossed them in one of the drawers in our room.  When we checked out, we remembered to cash them in... SFM had thought they were just worth a dollar, maybe two.  Five dollars each! 

High rollers, we. 

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What happened while I was Reno'ing

Muttin barely spoke when my sister returned them to my house the other morning.  She jumped around for a few moments, smiled a lot, but was pretty withdrawn and quiet.  I told everyone to go back to sleep for awhile, and I'd give them a bath later on.  It was then I heard the full story.

Muttin:  We were kidnapped. 

Me:  You were?!  When?  By whom!?

Muttin:  By your sister.  She walked right in the door, grabbed our beds, put us on the leash, grabbed our frozen chicken and took us away.

Me:  Well, yes.  To her house, right? 

Muttin:  Snort.  No, it wasn't a house, it was a room.  With big white machines that made noises. 

Me:  That would have been her laundry room.  You're not allowed in the rest of her house cause you both jump on the furniture, and Jeffrey pees on things in order to provide you with territory.  But it's not like you were trapped in one tiny room forever.  You had a pet door, so you could go in and out to the outdoors. 

Muttin:  We were kidnapped tho.  We were supposed to stay home with SonOne.  He came home to watch Duke, and you left instructions about how to take care of us on the refrigerator.  But then SHE busted in the door, and TOOK us!  It was kidnaptation, I tell ya.

Me:  Well, actually, if you want to get technical, it would have been 'dog-napping', but you weren't kid or dog-napped, silly.  I told her to take you, cause SonOne isn't that fond of you and Jeffrey. 

Muttin:  SHE threatened us.

Me:  Oh really?  With what?

Muttin:  The washer.  And the dryer.  To toss us in if we didn't be perfectly quiet and lay still 23 hours out of 24. 

Me:  Muttin, you've been known to lie.  Is Jeffrey going to say the same thing if I asked him? 

Muttin:  Of course he would - it happened.

Me:  Jeffrey?  Jeffrey.  Jeff! 

Jeffrey kept on snoring, but I suspect he was faking it. 

Muttin:  And I think she and her minions ate our chicken.  I had to snarf mine down in order to get my share, and you know what a dainty eater I am. 

Me:  Oh yes, I know.  If anyone can manage to be dainty while eating raw chicken - it's you.  I did notice that the chicken is almost gone... wonder what that's all about?....

Muttin: Yes!  See, I told you!  She can't be trusted.  First dog-napping, then chicken theft.  She's worse than a weasel sneaking into the chicken house!  She needs to be shot!

Me:  And you need therapy.  Crazy dog. 

Muttin:  Her dogs were trying to have sex on me.  That's why we stink. 

Me:  Oh..... so THAT'S why you stink.  I was beginning to think it might have been when you escaped her fence and maybe rolled in some cow poop? 

Muttin:  No such luck.  And speaking of the fence... we could have froze to death out there in the big world because her fence let us out, but we couldn't get back in to get warm in that prison laundry room. 

Me:  Jeffrey!  Wake up, Jeffrey. 

Jeffrey:  Whhhhat?  Leave me out of this. 

Me:  I hear you escaped out the fence a couple of times. 

Jeffrey:  Well, the fence LET me out, and then I had to show Muttin where the fence was so kind.  And I damn near froze to death the first time.

Me:  Seems like you would have learned your lesson then, but you got out a second time?

Jeffrey:  I had to mark and protect the premises!  There's big dogs, wolves, fox/es, wolverines, and Tasmanian devils that needed to be told there was a new sheriff in town. 

Me:  Ah.  I see.  And I suppose your first arrest should be my sister, seeing as how she kid-napped you two, right?

 

Jeffrey:  What?  Where'd you get that idea? 

Me:  Ahem.  Where do you think?  I really think we need to call a counselor.  Somebody in this room needs help. 

Muttin:  You're hopeless.  (Looking at Jeffrey with scathing disdain)  Have you no gumption?  Sheriff, my ass. 

Me:  Muttin, it seems to me that you've got a little identity problem going on.  From what I hear, from a reliable source, despite the fact that I do think she ate some of your chicken, you're a puss of a dog when you're at my sister's.  Do her 2 big dogs intimidate you, hmmm? 

Muttin:  YOU try being the littlest dog in the pack!  YOU try having a traitor for a brother!  You try having sex done on you by two larger, stranger dogs whom you're supposed to be polite just because you're guests in their prison laundry room!  And then at home, there's that big damn Duke dog, who's taking up so much of your time and energy.... YOU just try being me, sniff.

Me:  (Alarmed.  I've never seen Muttin cry)  I'm sorry!  You poor thing!  I'll speak to my sister about the behavior of her dogs, and the fence for letting you out into the unsafe world.  I mean, it was her duty to keep you guys safe, and you could have froze to death for hells sake!  Not to mention stealing your dinner right out from under you!  For all she knows, it could be the last chicken in the freezer.  Sheesh, what was I thinking - me running off to have fun, sleep in, be in a warmer climate, not have to walk dogs at the asscrack of dawn.  Shame on me! 

Me:  (Pointing to Jeffrey)  And you!  I think you should have focused your time on those two dogs inside the fence who were hassling your sister, rather than wolverines and such outside the fence.  You let her down, Jeffrey Scott.  What do you  have to say for yourself?

Jeffrey:  I'm sorry Muttin. 

Me:  Are we all happy now? 

Muttin:  Cancel that call to the counselor? 

Me:  Of course dear.  What was I thinking?

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January 24th Blues

I'm fighting the inevitably depression I always get when I come home from traveling, and also the damn pain.  I get sooo sick of the pain.  Which begs the question... what came first, the pain or the depression?  Is the pain worse because of the depression?  Does depression make the pain worse?  I spose I could go back on the Wellbutrin.  Okay FINE I WILL!

I actually called a counselor the other day when I thought I was still IN love with SFM, I was that panicked.  I haven't followed up, but maybe I should.  If I don't move or have hope of moving, I think February might kill me.  February is always bad, mood-wise.  I dread it.  Believe me, you will too, should you continue to read my blog.  Reading the blog thru February will be an exercise in patience and stamina. 

So.  I need to a goal. 

Name me a goal.  Quick.

Oh, well this explains it.  It's not IN love issues, pain, or below zero temeratures after all.  Foolish me. 

When I get like this, I fall back on posting posts from the past.  Things I wrote many a year ago.  Which tends to cause a bit of confusion, so if you read a love poem about a tall blond with a Harley motorcycle, no I haven't met someone new in the last 3 days.  It's just a blast from the past because the present feels like oatmeal without raisons to get thru. 

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My Best Qualities?

While in Reno, we bought me a new necklace.  As he picked up each circle, he read out loud:

Remember...

Spirit...

Belligerence... (rather than smile)

Health...

Menopause... (rather than patience)

Kindness...

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My vagina may have MS too

Warning:  Somewhat X-rated.  Especially X-rated if your mother is reading. 

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We're stopping at a drugstore for his cigarettes.  I'm staying in the car cause I'll have no part of buying cigarettes for anyone.  I have standards that way.

She:  Pick me up some K-Y Jelly while you're in there. 

He gives me a horrified look.

He:  I am not buying that!

She:  (Color me amused, is that a threat to a man's manhood, I wonder?)

He:  You don't need it, you were wet.

She:  Not wet enough.

He:  You were fine.

She:  I was not, it almost hurt.  And it'd be easier for you to get in if I were wetter, wouldn't it?

He:  I'll cum next time, and it'll be wet enough. 

She:  FINE!  Whatever!

He:  FINE! 

He opens the car door and gets out.

She:  I'm at that age you know. 

It occurs to me...he says I'm wet enough, so maybe it's finally happened... my vagina has MS and I can't tell what the hell is going on down there.  Great.  My worse nightmare has come to pass. 

He comes back, and the conversation continues. 

She:  So did you hear me say that I'm at that age where K-Y Jelly may be necessary and it's normal?  (Cause god forbid we threaten men their menhood!)

He:  ?

She:  Menopause. 

He:  Hmm.

She:  Altho... I think my period has been trying to come, but it's having the decency to hold off till after our rendezvous. 

He:  Nice. 

She:  Yup.

He:  Well, you did get hot last nite....

He's talking about how after some adult playtime in the adult playpen, I suddenly needed all the covers off, traded my flannel nightgown for a Cotton t-shirt, turned down the heat... I thought it was normal MS heat issues, but maybe it was a hot-flash?  He can't stand my heat issues, always concerned that I'm going to be cold, cause he needs 3 quilts to my one sheet, and he'll sneak more covers on top of me after I fall asleep.  This drives me crazy, but his concern is real, so I try to keep quiet and kick off the covers after he's gone to sleep.  Hot flashes will be more traumatic for him than me, at this rate. 

We're both quiet for a couple of minutes.

She:  Is it normal for people to have conversations like we just had? 

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Disclaimer:  The names have been changed to "He" and "She" to protect the privacy of said individuals.  It's such a clever disguise, it's no use trying to figure out who these 2 individuals are. 

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I'm all a train wreck today

I made a phone call.  Ring ring ring.

Me:  Are you alone?

She:  Yessss.   Why?

Me:  Cause I don't want anyone to hear me crying. 

She:  Okay.......  What's wrong?

Me:  I don't know.  Wahhhhhhh.

She:  (Something.  I don't remember)

Me:  I think I love SanFranMan.  Wahhhhh.

She:  Yea, well....

Me:  I mean, I knew I love loved him, but I thought I didn't love him anymore. 

She:  You mean "in love"....

Me:  Yeaaaaa  Wahhhhhhh

Me:  I don't want to be IN love with him!  I liked things the way they wererrrrrrr, wahhhhhh

Me:  And I don't want to be in Idaho, but now I wonder if San Francisco is the right place after all, wahhhhhhh

She:  (Something.  I don't remember)

Me:  And I'm afraid if I don't go now, I'll never go anywhere, wahhhhhh

She:  I don't know about the SFM stuff, but I know you have to get out of Idaho. 

Me:  And we had SUCH a good time in Reno, but the more 'friends' we are, the more honest he is, he's not trying to impress, so he's more real, but he drinks, and drunk dials and drunk types, and and and he's hilarious, and he told me so many things, wahhhhh, and he's the funniest man, and wahhhhhhhh

Me:  I can't tell you how much I hated coming home.  Hate hate hate.  Hate.  Hate the cold, hate the snow.  Hate living in an old folks home, hate hate hate the cold. 

Me:  And my dogs stink like a French whorehouse, and need a bath, wahhhhhh

She:  (Something.  I don't remember)

Me:  And I had my first full-body massage, wahhhhh, and that was kind of freaky. 

She:  Oh.  How'd that go? 

Me:  It was .... okay.  The hard part was having my hands touched, of all things. 

She:  (Something about being touched during massages)  Ewwey stuff. 

Me:  I don't WANT to be IN love with him, wahhhhhh

She:  Mumble mumble, murmer murmer sympathetic noises.

Me:  And I emailed him this morning to thank him for the great time, and told him that all I could do was cry now in Idaho, wahhhhhh

Me:  And he emailed back, and said it was probably cause I was missing the living large, the living big, the high life we had in Reno, and I was all.... wahhhhhh and didn't email anymore, and pretended it's cause it's freezing cold, and my son just left, and left his damn dog with me, and yea, it's cause I'm missing the bell-hops, and room service and massages and movies and sleeping in late, and not having to walk dogs in the middle of the Ice Age, wahhhhhh

She:  Blah blah blah

Me:  Blah blah blah

Then we get off the phone and I crawled back into my hole. 

Then he called me tonite, and I'm all "fine" and "how are you?" and he's all he's okay, and playing sad music and did I get the Eva Cassidy CD he sent me, and I was all I need to go walk the dogs, and he was all okay, and was I alright now, blah blah blah.  And we hang up. 

I'm all stand-offish because I'll be damned if I love him, I'll have none of it!  Wahhhhhhhhhhhh

And then I discovered I'm all "T-minus 9 months and holding".  Which would explain why the slinky nities weren't quite as slinky as I would have liked.  Hmmph. 

Whew.  So never mind on all that love shit. 

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Disclaimer - Portions of this post have been imagined or altered to protect the poster, postee, the reader, the readee, and the various personalities involved.  Thank you very much.

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Home again, home again

Back from Reno - much fun, more later, Duke happy to see me, will get my dogs back in the am.  Tired. 

Much fun tho! 

Wealth

Or lack thereof. 

This is my entry for this week's Thursday's Challenge.

Again, the Yellow Bag

Jeffrey won't sit his butt down in the snow, so he stood there like this for a good five minutes while Duke and I argued over the tennis ball he wanted me to throw, but wouldn't drop it so I could throw it.  It was 5 below zero this morning when I took them out, and I could see Muttin shivering from 10 yards away.  Since I believe she was conning me, I ignored it for those 5 minutes, but then I couldn't stand it anymore and in we went. 

Yesterday, my hands and feet were especially bad.  Today, they didn't start hurting until around noon.  Tell me the ryhme or reason in that little head game they play.  Hee.  Hands playing head games.  Funny.

Being a mother is harder after they move out.  That's all I'm saying. 

Oh!  Remember the awesomeness that is this bag? 

Well, guess what?  I hesitate to share this with you, because Ben will see it, and want his bag back.  Even tho he was amazed at how much I was able to put in this bag, there's only so much awesomeness we can handle about this bag.  But....

As I was packing for the Reno Rendevous... I FOUND 2 MORE POCKETS!!!! 

Okay, settle down all. 

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Hump Day

1.  Ben Franklin conducted many experiments with electricity.  What is your favorite gadget or appliance that uses electricity?

I was going to say my Ipod, but ummm that would be battery operated.  So.  My fav gadget would have to be the computer/printer/scanner because it helps me with my photography. 

2.  Ben also invented Bifocals.  They help your eyes see better as they age.  What sense or part of your body do you wish could be improved?

If I said my eyes, would that be redundant?  Probably my hearing.  I took a hearing test not to long ago, and kept getting distracted by reading the book titles in the bookcase.  I'd forget to listen to the tones, because I'd rather read.  The examiner told me my hearing was just fine if I'd just pay attention.  Hmmph. 

3.  Ben Franklin lived in Philadelphia.  What comes to mind when you think of Philadelphia?

We  used to live in Philadelphia, or dang close, and I remember the 6 "story" house.  It had 6 levels, not actual stories.  That's where my brother started using drugs.  There was a bat in the attic?  Food fights.  The Liberty Bell.  A very well known psychriatrist lives there, and he is a murderer.  Someone I knew and loved was forced to particiapate in the murder when he was a child.  He thinks the woman was already dead, but he's never told, and as a result, he spends time in mental institutions, while his brother runs free and famous. 

More Wednesday Hump Day here. 

That is all. 

OMG, She's Insisting on SPTing Herself

When Muttin saw me taking pictures of my hand in front of the quilts, she of course, was curious.  I let her read the post, and she clicked on the links herself, to find out was Self Portrait Tuesday was all about. 

Naturally, Ms. Diva that she is, she has to join in.  When I told her she'd have to tie the picture into something to do with her New Year's Resolutions.

Me:  Muttin, what does this picture have to do with any resolution?  You didn't make any resolutions, did you?

Muttin:  Of course I did.  I just didn't tell you about it. 

Me:  Cause you might not be able to keep it, huh? 

Muttin:  Of course I'll be able to keep it.  I have so far. 

Me:  What is it?

Muttin:  Can't you tell by the picture? 

Me:  The picture is telling me that...you're wishng for greener pastures since we're covered in snow, and it's 36 degrees below zero?  That has nothing to do with resolutions, missy.

Muttin:  (Rolling her eyes)  Noooooo.  Try again.

Me:  Hmmmm.  That you're going to stop eating cat shit like it was forbidden candy when you find it in the flower beds?

Muttin:  I don't eat cat shit!  Don't spread rumors like that, you know how the old ladies are!

Me:  (Rolling my eyes)  Whatever.  What is your resolution?

Muttin:  As you can see, I'm very comtemplative in this picture.  It's obvious that I'm thinking deep thoughts.  My resolution is to pose more when I'm thinking those deep thoughts.  I'm often thinking deep thoughts, but you can't really tell because I'm running, eating, cleaning, sitting, or sleeping.  From now on, I promise to pose at least once a day while I'm thinking deep thoughts. 

Me:  And will you share those deep thoughts with the rest of us?  I'm sure Jeffrey and Duke and I would be facinated to hear those deep thoughts.

Muttion:  Hell no. 

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Self Portrait Resolutions Week 3

One of my resolutions for the New Year is to make my hands move more.  To make them do fine finger things, such as sewing, crocheting or knitting.  Behind my hand are three quilts I've made recently and some Christmas pillows.  I also resolve to sell at least 5 quilts and see if I can trademark them somehow. 

Those who know me, know the issues I have with my stupid hands.  I can't stand to touch anything with prolonged contact, such as folding towels, or counting money.  Hot water hurts so I don't do the dishes.  I've done them before, only to look down at a sinkful of pink bubbles, because I've cut my hand on a knife and did not feel it.  I'm considered a hazaard in the kitchen because I can't feel hot/cold/sharp/etc., and am clumsy. 

When there is pain in my hands, it's very hard to motivate myself to even move at all.  There are times when I believe cutting them off would be a better way to live.  But with the mystery that is MS, the pain would reset itself in my stubby arms then. 

When I was younger, I used to twirl my hair between my fingers.  I gave up the habit for years and years.  All of a sudden, I started to twirl my hair again, obsessively.  As if there's only so much time that I'll be able to 'feel' something, so I better twirl while I can?  Rolling my eyes here. 

When I was first diagnosed with MS, I went on a year-long sexual binge.  I couldn't 'feel'.  The numbness was constant in my hands and feet, and it moves up my body, depending on overheating, fatigue, or stress.  It's moved up as high as my neck, but that was only once.  It usually stops at my stomach area.  I thought there was only so much time that I'd be to 'feel' sex, so had a very fun year...

Ahem. 

That is all.  That is enough. 

My mother reads here.

Read more resolutions at Self Portrait Tuesday. 

Read Muttin's Self Portrait Tuesday. 

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More Magic in my Life

Not only do I get money appearing in my bank account every month, without working for it, but because I practice magic math, I now have enough squares for 2 large quilts and 3 small ones, when I thought I'd bought enough material for just ONE large quilt...

See?  2 large one, and 3 smaller ones.  I set out to make the design for one quilt.  Lo and behold... I had more squares left. 

Katie's quilt. 

As I was filling the world with red quilts, I thought "Hmmm, I'm making SFM and his son blue quilts, and his daughter a red one....hmmm.... I wonder if the kids would like to give their mother one.... after all, the boys all match.... shouldn't the girls?.....". 

I AM the master of getting along with the ex's.  Once having my ex-husbands first two ex-wives visiting with me at my flower shop, when his current girlfriend came in to order their wedding flowers....

Hmmmm.

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Cheap

My entry for Moody Monday.  I'm not sure how 'cheap' can be a mood, but here it it. 

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San Francisco no more?

A momentous occasion just arose.  San Francisco Housing just called.  A REAL person was on the line.  I had had a letter that said I was taken off the housing list.  She said I was still on it??? and then asked if I was a San Francisco resident.  I am not.  Which I've said all along.  I told her my California ID has a San Diego address on it, so I was a California resident.  She said I had to be a San Francisco resident.  I practically screamed and said I was TOLD  that I had to be a California resident.  She said no, I have to be a San Francisco resident.  I said Fuck. 

Not really.  I didn't say it. 

Then she said my income needed to be from San Francisco too.  I said it was disability.  She said San Francisco SSI?  No, not state, it's federal.  She said it has to be addressed to San Francisco.  As have a bank account or an address that it goes to. 

So basically... I need to move down there... and be homeless in order to qualify. 

At least I didn't come up on top of the list, and fly down there for my next appointment, to be told this, and waste another airfare for nothing.

I'm trying not to depend on SFM, just because I want to do this on my own as much as possible.  And it's not fair to him, and his kids are a priority, and their situation takes up most of his mind, and I'm just independent as much as possible. 

So shit.  I need to go back down there, get a bank account and have my check deposited there.  Or use SanFranMan's address, which he's already said was okay.  Mailed checks take longer to get, and then there'd be the time lag where he mailed it to me. 

Shitshitshit.  I want to CRY and SCREAM. 

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The panicked ramblings of the abandoned

Although it's warmed up to 11 degrees below zero, I am still nervous.  I am writing right now in order to feel like part of the world.  Hello, Internet?  Are you on?  Are you there?  Cause my phone is out again, and I've emailed the important people, telling them that during this cold snap, evidently my phone is persnickidy, and I can't be called.  Then there was no response to my emails, and then I walked around the apartment building and saw no one, even tho, earlier, everyone was outside trying to start their cars, so now I'm convinced I'm the only person left in the world, and the alone feeling is making me ... weird. 

I'm scared of the cold!  Isn't that funny?  I'm afraid of it hurting me more than I already hurt. 

Walking the dogs in this weather is an exercise in patience, and I rarely have patience when I'm in 24 below zero weather, and I can feel my legs falling off.  It's too cold for the little dogs, and they have to stay out of the snow that is fallen on the ground and not been disturbed by snow plows or car tracks.  We have to stay on compact ground, which means it is VERY slippery for me.  The fluffy snow is too hard on their feetsies and gets packed between their toes, and it hurts the little adorables.  They stop every 10 yards to chew at their feet, and then stare pleadingly at me to please pick them up, or at the very least, melt the snow NOW, please.  Then there's Duke, who's trying to pull all of us into the fluffy snow, cause he thinks it's Heaven's Playground.  Because I had to stay on the roads, we walked in neighborhoods, which means they pooped in people's yards.  And I have to pick them up, cause I am a responsible pet owner.  Try holding on to two separate leashes, and wearing gloves, and having to sort out plastic baggies in order to pick up said poopies.  Sigh.  It's no wonder why I can't work. 

I promised myself that I would have SanFranMan's quilt done this weekend.  I could have a baby blanket done too.  And I could finish SonOne's if I went outside in this weather to go get it at the store.  I really could start packing too, for the Reno Rendevous, but hey.  That would be getting tooooo organized. 

While I'm promising myself stuff, I should promise not to watch those damn animal cruelty shows again.  Sniff.  Sniff.  I can't stand it.  A starving German Shepard.  Had to have taken at least 2 months without food.  I could just crawl into the TV to hold him in my lap. 

At last, a response to my email fearing I was all alone in the world.  TC is a lifesaver.  In more ways than one sometimes.  Brat that she is. 

Look at me typing rather than sewing.  I want to take two completed quilts with me to Reno, cause the plan is to rest.  Resting implies bed.  Bed with these quilts seem like my Heaven's Playground.  They're so cozy and comfortable, you just want to get naked in them.  Heh.  One quilt for him and one for me.  Heh heh.  Mine would be SonOne's, but hey... he OWES me.  The Duke thing.  Whom is also adorable, cause he hides his face in the crook of my arm when I'm on the floor playing with him.  It's his way of hugging, I think.  Too bad I'm busy with that starving German Shepard.  Oh wait.  Reality, welcome back to my world. 

I must shut up now.  I've got responses to my email, and been able to call my daughter-in-law, about her quilt and baby blanket for a friend of hers.  I love my daughter-in-law.  She makes me wish I had had more children.  I love her.  I'm afraid of losing her because they are splitting up.  I couldn't blame her at all tho, should it prove too hard to continue a relationship with me.  Maybe time will help.  Well, I know time will help, just because I'm old, but she doesn't know it for herself yet, and it never seems like time helps out anyways, while you're IN the shit of the long, drawn-out moments of pain of shitful situations. 

Shitful.  LOVE that. 

Go sew now. 

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ohmygoditscoldoutthere

Yikes!  It's 24 below with the wind chill factor. 

Do you KNOW the time required to get me and two little dogs ready to go out in such conditions?  And because they don't realize how cold it it, they are excited and jumping around every single second while I dress them?  And me? 

God. 

Wish me luck. 

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PS.  If I don't come back in 30 minutes, come find me. 

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How low can it go?

The forecast for tonite's low is -9 degrees.  It is now -4, or actually -16 with the wind chill factor.  It always makes me nervous when it gets colder than the forecast says it will.  I don't feel nervous when it gets hotter than what the forecast predicts - don't know why.  May because... Maybe cause?...  being too hot is mostly just miserable, but not painful.  (Unless of course, you have odd MS symptoms that grants that character building gift but we're back to pretending we don't have MS). 

But being too cold hurts like hell, and those of us who live in the cold can all relate to how much it hurts when an extremity gets too cold.  And then again the pain while it's warming back up is just as bad.  That is the pain in my hands and feet 24/7 when things start going downhill. 

Maybe that's why when it gets colder than it's supposed to, I just plain start feeling nervous.   

Plus my phone is out, so should I get stuck in a snow drift while taking out the dogs for one last pee, I'm shit out of luck.  Never mind the fact that I never take my phone out when I walk the dogs, despite multiple pleadings from others that I do so.  It's the damn freeze that has paralyzed the air particles that cell phone waves travel on.  Don't EVEN tell me that the cell phone wires are underground.  Ben.  You don't know EVERYTHING. 

Muttin:  Who's Ben?

Me:  Remember?  That guy you slapped when we were all up on the my bed in the old house?

Muttin.  No.

Me:  You had licked him, and he hates that, so he slapped you.

Muttin:  Hmmm. 

Me:  And then you stared at him for a few seconds, and then you reached out your paw and slapped his hand back. 

Muttin:  Hmmm.  Nope.  I just don't remember.  (As she saunters out of the livingroom).

Me:  Yea right. 

Me:  (Looking at Jeffrey)  Guess it's a good thing I left out the part where I told him to slap her so she'd quit licking him. 

Jeffrey:  You're no dummy.  (As we share a chuckle at the diva that she is)

Muttin:  (From the bedroom)  I heard that!

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Thursday Love

 

Thursday Love's today.  Cause it's Thursday!  One day past Hump Day, one day till... Friday.  If Wednesday is Hump Day, was is Friday and why do we look so forward to it, if we've already humped?  Hmmm?  Back to the hearts.  These were at the store that did not have the Cherry Almond stuff I wanted.  I'm chucking ALL my products that are old and never used, and then I'm sticking to one fragrance.  The trademark signature for my body, if you will.  Stones that are shaped into heart-shaped ... rocks?  That doesn't seem to be the right word - rocks are dirty and rough and shaped like nature intended. 

I made my first smoothie and it was not a good thing because I forgot to use ice cream.  I used mixed berries, ice and milk.  Dumb.  Also, nasty. 

I've lost my post office key and outside door key this morning.  The carpet guys knocked on my door at 7:59am, needing to carpet my doorway.  So I had to get dressed in a hurry, grabbed the dog's leashes, my coat and the keys.  Tromped down the hall with the dogs, stepped outside and there was a winter storm going on with about 10 inches of snow.  So I was putting on my coat while I had the dogs on leashes swirling around and dropped them somewhere.  Grrrrrrrr

It's taking all day to write this missive of unbearably interesting musings.  Duke and I just got back from the parking lot, me brushing the snow off everyone's car while I throw the tennis ball for His Dopyness.   He barks at males only, and then tucks his tail between his legs, and ducks his head and skulks around as if he's been beaten to death before, and I know dang well that he hasn't.  Such a puss. 

But myohmy, has Jeffrey manned up lately.  He's Mr. Protective of his sister, when she doesn't want protecting.  He's Mr. Jealous when Duke and her are playing.  He tears after Duke in a real dog fight, trying to tell him who's boss.  Duke fights back for an instant and then seems to remember he's bigger, so he stops.  Or maybe it's cause I'm screaming at them to stop it. 

Below are the Adorables fighting over Duke's fish.  Duke and Muttin both have one end of the fish, and Jeffrey is growling menacingly at Duke, just to let him know he's watching and there better not be any funny stuff.  Which is funny in itself, because Duke has never tried any "funny stuff" with Muttin, but Jeffrey and Muttin often practice safe sex between themselves, even taking turns being on top. 

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Quilt City

I've started cutting the squares for another quilt and you wouldn't believe the thought process that goes on in order to get the material picked out.  And it didn't help to work in a fabric store, where I kept coming across better fabric.  More better.  I've probably got enough fabric for 17 quilts featuring the color blue.  Gahhhh. 

One piece I found has hearts, a house with measurements, a road course...

A pause here.  I do believe Duke is growling at his own butt.  Maybe he farted?  I'll know shortly.  Gahhhh. 

... a road course, a rainbow, the sun, earth, love, happiness, "home is where the heart is", "blueprint for happiness", etc.  Here, I'll Flickr it.  As I said, what could be a more perfect fabric for SanFranMan? 

Then there's this for his daughter,

and another blue one for his son.  His kids see me as the woman who broke up their family, even tho I wasn't the one, and even tho we aren't together "together" anymore.  I haven't met them yet, but expect to when I move down there, and wanted to give them something that they could take back and forth between homes, and I didn't want to give them a toy, so quilt it is. 

I'm going to make another one for Ben's little girl, she likes cats, and I saw some FUN kitty fabrics while I was WORKING. 

Tomorrow I'm going into town to get the black fabric I need to finish off my son's quilt and I'll take a picture of that when it's done. 

That is all. 

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Okay, Disability, you win. Fucker.

There are days when nothing goes right. 

When you drop everything you touch, your Internet doesn't work all morning and you have a bit of a Ebay/PayPal crisis on board.  Or when your phone won't get good reception, the bank screws up your bank account, which put into motion a reaction from Ebay sellers,  and PayPal.  When your dog/s tip over their water bowl, and soaks the bottom of their 40 pound sack of dog food.  Or the cops come to your door and you know it's gonna make the neighbors gossip for days.  They haven't gotten over the fact that you fell in the parking lot a few days ago yet. 

When you go get gas, and forget your purse, so have to go back home.  When your big dog won't get in the car again.  And when the store/s don't have the lotion fragrance you want,  and when the special on luggage doesn't apply to the set you want.  When every second spent away from home is spent wondering if the dogs are barking their stupid heads off cause one of them is new and he barks, which has encouraged the little ones to join in.  When your apartment is normally presentable, but today it is not, and the landlady comes in to deliver something in person from the UPS man.  When the UPS man brings you your food for the month and there's no room in the freezer.  When he brings you something eggplant.  When you forget your pain meds, and you're in town looking for a dog collar that will actually be easier to put on your dogs because having 3 of them jump for joy at the mere inkling of the idea that they're going for a walk is hell on your hands trying to get the leashes on.  Which is when they spill their bowl of water, btw. 

And then?  You take your dogs for a walk in 25 degrees cold weather and it's windy cold and you pee your pants and you're at least a mile from home.  Cause you have MS and don't know you've done so until the cold wind sends a whiff of urine upwards.  I thought a dog peed on me until I felt the wet with my hand. 

Oh yea, I can work, uh huh.   

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Delurk yourself today

If you read any other blogs at all, you know it's National Delurking Week, Jan 8 - 14th.  And you know what that means.  You're "supposed" to comment so that I may bask in my popularity.  Or something like that...

It's okay, it's safe, I can't see you, and I'm not the stalker type.  Unless of course you wear Cherry Almond fragrence, have Jeff Gorden memorabelia in a special room in your house, or sell fabric. 

Oh yea, now I remember that quality of life thingy

Well, there you have it. 

I can work just fine.  I can perform whatever is asked of me.  I can mask the exhaustion and the pain so that no one knows.  It wasn't real bad, but enough so that I recognized this particular brand of fatigue... one that is not "just" being tired or worn out.  I can do it  (work) well enough that they have asked me if I'd fill out a application for part-time work for next time they're hiring. 

On the first nite home, I was just fine.  Walked the dogs their usual hour or so, got home, ate, blogged, watched a couple of shows, went to bed just fine. 

Got to work the next morning just fine, after walking the dogs their usual morning half hour.  Was in pain by noon, but by overdoing the pills with a couple extra doses, it was good enough.   Again, no one saw the pain or the exhaustion cause I'm good at being a fake.  Got home, walked the dogs their usual hour or so, but in actuality, it was 2 hours before we got home because I had a meltdown of leg muscles and had to sit for awhile.  Fed the dogs, fell asleep on the couch for a couple hours, blogged, went to bed.  The only TV was in bed, put the shut-off timer for 30 minutes, and don't remember it going off.  Which means the dogs didn't get their last pee of the day. 

Got up this morning just fine, but didn't feel like walking the dogs.  Just let them wander the back garden instead.  Prepared 12 doses of pain meds, when I've been needing only 2 a day prior to this working shit.  Ignored the fact that neither of my dogs had pooped this morning.  They're used to walking down the block and pooping in the fields now.  Left for work, 10 minutes late cause Duke wouldn't get in the car.  Dropped him off at his grandpa's to relieve some guilt about not walking him properly.  I swear that's why Duke wouldn't get in the car - cause I hadn't taken him walking.  Went to work and did just fine and hid the pain and exhaustion appropriately for the situation.  Which was ... WORK.  To stand for 10-15 minutes at at time while mearsuring, than sitting another 10-15 minutes in the chair, writing the numbers as my measuring took her turn at measuring and re-rolling the bolts of fabric.  Today we did the fleece.  Which was heavy and more labor intensive.  But I did it.  And not one person there knew I had MS, nor did they see any strange bumbling around that I couldn't laugh off as "being clumsy". 

Walked out to my car at 5pm, and just sat there, not wanting to pick up Duke or go home to dogs needing to walk.  Picked up Duke, who was thrilled to see me, and he jumped in the car like he couldn't wait to go walking.  Got home, took all dogs to the back garden area.  Everyone  pooped and peed immediately.  Went inside, fed the dogs, going to bed.  Now.  at 7:30pm, because I'm so tired I feel like throwing up.  The dogs can do without their last nite pee, and I don't have to work tomorrow. 

I will welcome Stella like she's never been welcomed before, because I have not touched a damn thing resembling house-keeping in 3 days. 

So.... ?

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Pillow Pair

More things I've learned:

When having to be at work at a certain time in the morning, one needs to factor in scrapping the ice from the  car windows. 

Working at a fabric store when one already has the material bought for 3 quilts is torture because I keep seeing more fabric that I'd rather use instead. 

Walking the dogs for a half hour in the morning, then working 8 hours standing on my feet, and then walking the  dogs for an hour and a half when I get home, for 2 days in a row tends to make the MS act up.  As in "unable to walk" when I'm 6 block from home.  Luckily, I was able to sit down on a bare bit of sidewalk and rest for a few minutes.  If being nosed by 3 dogs who wonder why I'm on the ground can be called resting.  Not a one of them had a single concern for me... they just wanted to walk walk walk. 

Having two male dogs in the house makes one discover pee spots.  SOMEBODY is marking HIS territory, and I don't think it's our guest dog, JEFFREY.  Yea, I know Muttin will be reading this to you, and I expect some better behavior from you, young man.  You're a bad example to your younger but larger... nephew? and I won't have it. 

Sprinkling a teaspoon of peanut butter with sugar is YUMMY. 

Walking 3 dogs on leashes is a hoot.  Add roads covered with ice.  Not so hooty.

Questions I Need Answered:

At  what point does one become a virgin after not having sex for a long period of time?  I'd like to re-apply so that I can carry the card in my wallet and whip it out when the opportunity arises. 

SanFranMan and I are rendevouing in Reno in a few days, and we are not the gambler types.  We might toss a quarter in a machine here and there on our way in or out of the casinos, but that's about it.  We are going to rest and relax and "getting away from it all".  Which makes me feel a tad bit silly, since I don't really have that rough of  a life, but then again.... these DOGS.  That walk walk walk thing is RELENTLESS. 

Anyways... I'm not sure what he has in mind, but 4 days and 3 nites in the El Dorado, nice as it is, may get boring.  I'm wondering what I could take to do, that would pack easy.  Beside the massage oil, condoms, and various sex toys, of course.  Those are already packed, and I must admit, pack easy.  I saw a Sudoku Board Game in the mall today, so I'm thinking about that.  Or a Scrabble/Sudoku Board Game I saw on Ebay tonite.  He said he's bringing a case of wine and hand-cuffs, but I don't like wine, so I want to have something in reserve.  Besides that Virginity Card. 

Blahg This:  What is your most favorite sneaky guilty snack?  Mine recently is that peanut butter/sugar thing.  Or saltine crackers with peanut butter and raisons on them.  A peanut butter and raison saltine cracker sandwich.

I must go to bed at a decent hour because I have to WORK tomorrow. 

Things That I Love: 

Working again.

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Thanksssss for the mmemooriess

Having a large, male dog around is alot like having a man around. 

He moans and groans alot, hogs the bed, looks at me longingly (in his case, for food, rather than sex), won't do dishes or set the table, nor will he brush his teeth and he lounges around without pants. 

This particular large male dog also drinks alot.  Granted, it's water, but it's giving me flashbacks of living with the alcoholic (ex)husband. 

 

He now has his own category

Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned Today:

Big dogs fart considerably more noticiably than small dogs.

I've got .25, .50, and .75 down pat when it comes to measuring fabric.  Most fabrics did not fall on those numbers. 

How Bazooka Bubble Gum gets made.  (On the Discovery Channel)

That when a prisoner in a maximum security prison pees in a water container and then sprays a security guard with it - he's in BIG trouble. 

That big dogs are facinated with their hind ends when they do fart. 

That throwing a tennis ball down the hall for Duke to get some exercise without me having to freeze to death is not a good idea.  Muttin/Jeff manage to sound like horses when they run down the hall, but Duke sounds like a herd of buffalo. 

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Bong vs. Gong Lesson

On the left - a bong.  Commonly used as vases for flowers.  On the right - gongs.  Tonite's treat was canned yams!  Stuffed inside, along with a bit of plain yogurt, which according to Muttin is a good way to ruin a snack.  Duke didn't like his, so she took his - and liked the yogurt just fine.  Duke is preferring the 10 tennis balls I bought him.  I threw all of them on the floor so that he'd get over being so possessive over it/them.  Pretty hard to guard and protect all 10 of them at the same time, specially since I keep them stirred up all over the floor and at the little dogs.  We're also working on not barking at every little sound he hears in the hallway.  Doing really good on that one.  He's so funny cause he "goes to bed".  Come about 10-11pm, he goes into the bedroom where his dog bed is and goes to sleep.  He gets up and heads that way, but takes one last look back, as if saying "Coming?". 

Gosling, welcome back to the flock.  For some time, India did not allow her into my blog, or if she could get in, she couldn't comment. 

All the outdoor surfaces in my little community is one sheet of ice.  That's a lie.  Our parking lot is a ice skating rink.  Most of us disabled and/or elderly do not wear ice skates.  We wear slippers (when we're depressed), snow boots in the summer (because they're easy to slip on), and high heels in the winter because everyone goes to church more in the winter.  Me - I wear beach shoes.  I slipped and fell flat on my back today because of the ice and broke my cell phone, wet my purse in a puddle that wasn't frozen after all, and broke my glasses. 

Was PISSED.  So I went into the closet that tenants are not supposed to go into and filled a bucket with Ice Melt, and covered the whole damn parking lot.  Several old people were starring out their windows and I'm sure someone will tattle on me. 

BRING IT ON, Landlady. 

It's 9:10pm Friday nite, and I have to "go to work" by 8am tomorrow morning, where I will be doing inventory at a fabric store.  I read the instructions on how to measure the fabric, and realize I don't know what the heck it's talking about. 

'When writing yardage on the tag list yardage with two digits past the full yard.  (this is very important and causes many problems the day of inventory.)  Example 1 yard = 1.00 6 7/8yrd = 6.88 7 3/4 yrd = 7.75.  Use 1/8ths increments'.

Using some punctuation would have been helpful. 

1 yrd = 1.00     I get it. 

7 3/4 yrd = 7.75     I get it. 

6 7/8 yrd = 6.88     I don't get it. 

I'm going to have to glue the increment sheet to the back of my hand.  Measuring station be damned unless I can stand there the whole time - maybe the bolts of fabric could be brought TO me?  Should be interesting.  My hands.... I lam eery, but determined.  I need the money and 3-4 days will get me enough to pay a quarter more of my driving license fines, and have some spending money for a rendezvous in Reno in a couple of weeks.  Rendezvous.  Always wanted to rendezvous!  Me, little Idaho country girl, am going rendezvousing. 

Main Entry: ¹ren·dez·vous
Pronunciation: 'rän-di-"vü, -dA-
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ren·dez·vous
Etymology: Middle French, from rendez vous present yourselves
1 a : a place appointed for assembling or meeting b : a place of popular resort : HAUNT
2 : a meeting at an appointed place and time
3 : the process of bringing two spacecraft together

Yea, baby.  That's us - two spaceships coming together to do our spacy thing.  Uh huh.  So that's what they're calling it now.  I've been out of the boy/girl loop a bit too long. 

Okay, back to work.  It feels VERY funny to say "I'm going to work".  I haven't been able to say that for ... 4 years?  Feels good.  Even tho I realize I should stop typing in order to save my hands. 

Good-bye.

Blahg This:  If you work or have worked, what was your favorite job?

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An Orgy of Sorts

An orgy of gongs.  And amazingly... noone fought or growled at the other. 

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Oh yes.  That list.  I'll get right to it.  After all my errands today. 

Buy ink for computer

Dog food

Raisons

Material for next blanket

Things I Owe People in the Building:  Crisco, Peanut Butter, Baking Soda

Pay storage unit bill

Get rent check

Pick up housing letter

Find Cherry Almond soap, shampoo, fragrence

Fill out paperwork for inventory job... at a material store! 

Refill meds.  Because despite having to use only half doses for the first 2 weeks of the month, the last 2 weeks more than made up for it, and they're gone on schedule.  The one constant in my life. 

I'm off.

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"Begin a New Post"

My own blog... mocks me.  I click on the TypePad icon on my desktop, because I really should pay attention to the blog and there's another button that says "Begin a New Post".  It feels stupid of me to tell the computer to quit nagging me. 

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Happy New Year

   

From me and the dogs.  Of course. 

(This'll teach someone who accuses me of seeing things only in black and white...)

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