I made a phone call. Ring ring ring.
Me: Are you alone?
She: Yessss. Why?
Me: Cause I don't want anyone to hear me crying.
She: Okay....... What's wrong?
Me: I don't know. Wahhhhhhh.
She: (Something. I don't remember)
Me: I think I love SanFranMan. Wahhhhh.
She: Yea, well....
Me: I mean, I knew I love loved him, but I thought I didn't love him anymore.
She: You mean "in love"....
Me: Yeaaaaa Wahhhhhhh
Me: I don't want to be IN love with him! I liked things the way they wererrrrrrr, wahhhhhh
Me: And I don't want to be in Idaho, but now I wonder if San Francisco is the right place after all, wahhhhhhh
She: (Something. I don't remember)
Me: And I'm afraid if I don't go now, I'll never go anywhere, wahhhhhh
She: I don't know about the SFM stuff, but I know you have to get out of Idaho.
Me: And we had SUCH a good time in Reno, but the more 'friends' we are, the more honest he is, he's not trying to impress, so he's more real, but he drinks, and drunk dials and drunk types, and and and he's hilarious, and he told me so many things, wahhhhh, and he's the funniest man, and wahhhhhhhh
Me: I can't tell you how much I hated coming home. Hate hate hate. Hate. Hate the cold, hate the snow. Hate living in an old folks home, hate hate hate the cold.
Me: And my dogs stink like a French whorehouse, and need a bath, wahhhhhh
She: (Something. I don't remember)
Me: And I had my first full-body massage, wahhhhh, and that was kind of freaky.
She: Oh. How'd that go?
Me: It was .... okay. The hard part was having my hands touched, of all things.
She: (Something about being touched during massages) Ewwey stuff.
Me: I don't WANT to be IN love with him, wahhhhhh
She: Mumble mumble, murmer murmer sympathetic noises.
Me: And I emailed him this morning to thank him for the great time, and told him that all I could do was cry now in Idaho, wahhhhhh
Me: And he emailed back, and said it was probably cause I was missing the living large, the living big, the high life we had in Reno, and I was all.... wahhhhhh and didn't email anymore, and pretended it's cause it's freezing cold, and my son just left, and left his damn dog with me, and yea, it's cause I'm missing the bell-hops, and room service and massages and movies and sleeping in late, and not having to walk dogs in the middle of the Ice Age, wahhhhhh
She: Blah blah blah
Me: Blah blah blah
Then we get off the phone and I crawled back into my hole.
Then he called me tonite, and I'm all "fine" and "how are you?" and he's all he's okay, and playing sad music and did I get the Eva Cassidy CD he sent me, and I was all I need to go walk the dogs, and he was all okay, and was I alright now, blah blah blah. And we hang up.
I'm all stand-offish because I'll be damned if I love him, I'll have none of it! Wahhhhhhhhhhhh
And then I discovered I'm all "T-minus 9 months and holding". Which would explain why the slinky nities weren't quite as slinky as I would have liked. Hmmph.
Whew. So never mind on all that love shit.
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Disclaimer - Portions of this post have been imagined or altered to protect the poster, postee, the reader, the readee, and the various personalities involved. Thank you very much.
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Jacob Poems
Obviously, "she" contributed a lot. and was inspirational. And comforting. Sure.
Posted by: TC | Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 10:00 AM
Oh, she did, she did. I just don't remember much, because, as you can TELL, I was in a crisis, what with my PERIOD coming and all, which we all KNOW makes me overly emotional, and you know how I forget when I'm in a crisis.
Sniff.
Posted by: MsShad | Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at 10:10 AM