She ran me off the track AGAIN

Me:  Muttin, you slay me.

Muttin:  I suspect I'm not familiar with that term in the sense that you may be meaning it.  Because I certainly haven't killed you off.  Yet. 

Me:  It means.... what do you mean "Yet"?

Muttin:  Just tell me what it means. 

Me:  Hold on while I google it. 

Muttin:  You mean you used it without knowing what it means?  That seems kind of dangerous to me.  Considering the word "slay" and all.

Me:  There.  (As I show her the computer screen) 

Muttin:  Okay then, why do I surprise you?  And just as a helpful suggestion, just think how much faster this conversation would go if you'd just used the word 'surprised'.  And I'd be able to take a nap sooner. 

Me:  Like just now, walking down the hall, you walk a perfect 'heel' the whole way down, and I never even taught you that.

Muttin:  Yea, so?

Me:  Well according to Cesar Mullan, that means you recognize my pack leader status, and it means you respect my position as pack leader. 

Muttin:  Yea, so?

Me:  So it's confusing why you're so submissive then, but other times I can't get you to mind me for the life of me.  Like the running away for instance. 

Muttin:  I runnnnnnnn like the wind, don't I?  (as she pats herself on the back, and looks around for Jeffrey so she can high-5 with him).

Jeffrey:  I'm staying out of this.  Again.  I'll concede to your athletic prowess, but not in the concept of running away.  That upsets me, and I worry about you when you run. 

Muttin:  You're just jealous cause you're too chicken to come with me.

Me:  Stop it, you two!  Muttin, he's not chicken.  He just knows he's not supposed to run away.  And Jeffrey, I so appreciate when you come to tell me she's run away and show me where you last saw her.  It's the cutest thing, not to mention how smart it is.  Too be able to get your words across from dog to human?  Pretty talented is all I'm saying. 

Muttin:  (snorts her nose into the blankets on the couch, where she's just rolled around, which is her way of telling me her back itches)

Me:  Dog, where was I?

Muttin:  God, I don't know. 

Me:  Aren’t we funny with that ‘dog’ and ‘god’ thing. 

Muttin:  Yes, we’re real cute.

Me:  Stop rolling your eyes.  You know that’s demeaning, don’t you?

Muttin:  Yes, I do.  Your point?

Me:  So anyways, can you explain the submissive/running away syndrome that you have? 

Muttin:  No. 

Me:  No?

Muttin:  It works for me to keep you confused. 

Me:  Do you like chicken for dinner?

Jeffrey:  Uh oh!  Muttin, don’t you jeopardize our chicken meals! 

Me:  Don’t worry, Jeffrey.  You’re allergic to dog foods, remember?  You’ll always get your chicken and meat bones and gizzards and livers and hearts. 

Me:  Muttin, however, is a different story.  Maybe it’s the high protein diet that’s making her so energetic, thinking she can run with the wind hmmm? 

Muttin:  I don’t think it’s the protein diet.  I think it’s because I’m a wild wolf at heart and the wind calls to me.

Me:  (after reading “wolf  at” as “fat wolf” and correcting my eyesight and brain perception, I narrowed my eyes at her)…. Are you mocking my totem? 

Jeffrey:  Totem?

Me:  You remember the wolf at Meadow Lake?  And by the old dog pound?  And camping by ourselves at Moody Meadows?  And the dreams? 

Jeffrey: Oh yea. But those really aren’t like a totem pole tho. I don’t get it.

Me:  Thanks for Wikipeding that for me, Jeffrey, you're quick and clever on the computer, aren't you?

Jeffrey:  (jumps off the couch, does his happy dance around the coffee table, jumps back up and kisses me on the elbow)

Muttin:  Yea, yea, yea.  He wikipeds and I google - same dif.  Whatever.

Jeffrey:  (to me)  You taught us well.  Now, what about totems?

Me:  Read up and click on my link when you have time.  It's hard to explain. 

Muttin:  No doubt.  But I'm not sure what totems have to do with chicken.

Jeffrey:  (sucks in breath)

Me:  I don't remember now.  And I suspect that's just how you like it, huh. 

Muttin:  You slay me.  I didn't know you forgot things so easily...

. 

Comments

[TC]

You both slay me. No, all three.

[justben]

you slay me. just sayin.

[VetMan]

You give her far too much power. We need to talk about that.

Check out my URL to see where I was a couple of days ago.