Will this day ever end?

Doorbell rings, but I think it's the pizza commercial on TV.  Look to the dogs, and they think it's the door.  The seniors and I have an understanding.  If I don't answer the door, it's cause I don't want to see anyone, so leave me alone.  If they ring/knock a second time, then I know it's important and I'll answer it.  Like the time someone knocked twice and when I opened the door, Muttin walked in.  She'd been found in the front parking lot.  Damn that window sill idea. 

Knock, knock, knock.  Oh damn.  It's important. 

Two strange ladies were out there, one about my age, and another who looked like a human skeleton, about 90 years old.  Let's call them Missionary 1, and Old Missionary.  My mood has not improved since the morning walk, and this was like adding salt to the wound. 

Missionary 1:  Laura?

Me:  Yes, well no, it's Laurie.

M1:  Oh yes, Laurie.  How are you?

Me:  Fine.

Old Missionary:  Get down!  (in a very loud voice)

Me:  Mutt, Jeff, get back in here.

M1:  We heard you just moved in and we...

Me:  No, I've been here for over 2 years. 

M1:  It's Laura Anderson isn't it?

Me:  No.  Close tho.  (as I search my memory for anyone who's named that in case I need to send them to a different apartment, but no)

M1:  Can we come in?

Me:  Who ARE you?

M1:  We're missionaries...

Me:  No thank you, I'm not Mormon.  (As I frown, wondering who the heck sic'd them on me).

OldM:  That's okay, we can still visit. 

Me:  No thank you.

OldM:  May we come in?  (As she steps towards me)

Me:  NO THANK YOU! 

M1:  Oh dear, don't be that way. 

Me:  Listen, you didn't have my name right, I'm not new around here, I'm not Mormon, and I said No Thank You twice, politely.  GOOD-BYE.

Me:  Managed to close the door without slamming it. 

Me:  (looking sternly at the dogs)  You guys need to warn me next time.  We'll add "Herding Missionaries Away From Your Master" to your service dog training. 

Muttin:  Well, what do you think we were doing when you told us to come back in the apartment. 

Me:  Don't get smart with me, Missy.  Or I'll See Red, and you'll be Shark Bait. 

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Comments

[TC]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! Happy Day! You were just polite enough. Even little old ladies need to be more sensitive to " NO "

[TC]

Happy Birthday to you!!! You did the right thing. Even old ladies should be respectful of "No, thank you!"