Setting the scene:

I'm sitting on the couch, reading "Another Name for Madness", a book written by a daughter whose mother is afflicted with Alzheimer's.  All of a sudden, crash crash in the kitchen.  Then another CRASH CRASH.  I looked around to take inventory.  It's got to be me, Muttin or Jeff.  My mind raced.  Doesn't it?  It has to be one of us three, cause if it's somebody or something else, that's gonna be a bit scary cause that would mean it's the Bogeyman, or at the very least, one of the little old peoples who also live in the building.  Don't make fun of me - old people can be scary.  Specially the way they creep around on shuffley little feet. 

So anyways.  Back to the inventory.  Jeffrey's on the next couch, looking towards the kitchen with a question in the position of his head.  Like ALERT!!! and WHAT THE HELL??? both at the same time. 

So it's safe to say that it's Muttin in the kitchen.  Then I proceed to take a mental inventory of the kitchen and WHAT IN THE HELL could be making such a crash crash noise?  Since I'd just barely cleaned the kitchen... there just wasn't anything that it could be cause the counters were bare, and so was the floor.  Except for ....

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Muttin_fishbowl_2

I'm SORRY!!! 

Muttin_fishbowl

I'm sorry some more!  But I couldn't stop laughing at her. 

As much as I lamented not having been able to document my memories of SonOne's first years, so that I could look back and remember with my MS-fogged brain.... it's probably a good thing.  It wouldn't have been very cool of me to make my kid hold still so I could take his picture while his head was in the cookie jar, right?  But it's okay when it happens to your dog, right?  I couldn't believe that my first thought was to GET THE CAMERA so I could post it on the Internet.   

And then?  Omygod, I couldn't get it off her.  My second thought after the first thought didn't work, was to get a hammer and break the damn thing.  But what about broken glass?  As I promised to never never never take such a picture ever ever ever again while her life was being risked away, I swore if we made it thru this, I wouldn't post the picture after all. 

Then I remembered one of those damn Animal Cop shows, where a little puppy had got his head stuck thru one of the holes in a decorative brick thingy.  The rescuer man pulled the neck skin back and that made it's little face skinnier.  So I did the same thing, and sure enough, Muttin's little head made it back thru.  Good damn thing I shaved her nearly bald, huh?  After I made sure she didn't have broken ears, I had to roll on the floor to laugh my head off.  Then she told me in no uncertain terms that I damn well better post the picture on the Internet cause she didn't go thru almost suffocating to death while her beloved mistress took pictures of her humiliation for nothing.  I wanted to title the post "Muttin Fell Into the Doggie Treat Jar", but she rathers I didn't.  She said she didn't FALL, she CHOSE to help herself to her own treat since I wouldn't get off of my ass and get it for her.  I decided now wasn't the time to chide her for sticking her head someplace where the sun don't shine, which is a dumb thing to say when one's head is encased it glass, and the sun can too shine in, where it didn't belong, cause she seemed a tad bit bitchy about the whole thing. 

What she really wants is for me to confess my folly for the world to judge me, slam me, report me to the Animal Cops and then she will feel much better.   

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