Muttin and I are sitting on the couch, me reading the newspaper, and her pretending to sleep cause she's afraid I'm gonna ask her to go do the dishes. 

Scritch, scritch, scritch...

I looked at Muttin and said "What was that?"

She:  I'm sleeping.  Don't bother me.

Me:  Was it Jeffrey?

She:  What, am I my brother's keeper?

Me:  Well, now that you mention it, aren't you supposed to be?

She:  snort

Scritch, scritch, scritch.

Me:  He cares about you - look how he keeps me informed of which direction you run when you run away. 

She:  I call that tattling.  He's a tattle-tale. 

Me:  I call that being responsible and caring about the ones you love.

She:  Leave me alone. 

Scritch, scritch, scritch.

Jeffrey's nowhere to be seen.  I call him.  He appears around the hallway corner.  I asked him what's the matter.  He disappears out of sight.

Scritch scritch, scratch.

Me:  I think he's scratching at the bathroom door!  He's trying to communicate his needs. 

Muttin:  Yippee, so he's talking to a door.  He's still dumber than a fence post. 

Me:  It means he's communicating something instead of just staring into space.  Do you spose he wants to go potty?

She:  rolls her eyes.

Me:  But since when does he go potty in the bathroom?  I mean, granted, tis the place to go potty, but not if you're a dog.  Potty for dogs is outside.  Which is certainly where you both have always gone.  So what is this new hybrid behavior?  I'm so impressed with him actually trying to tell me something!

She:  I taught him everything he knows. 

Me:  Riiiight...

So I get up, and sure enough, Jeffrey is scratching at the bathroom door.  So I open it and he rushes for the toilet bowl.  And drinks and drinks and drinks, completely ignoring the water bowl on the floor, which is what Muttin is drinking out of. 


This is unusual behavior for him, but mostly I felt guilty that he was so thirsty, and I'd had the door closed where they couldn't get their water.

About an hour later, he sat up on the couch and commenced staring into space.  I told him from now on, he could damn well scratch at the front door to tell me he needed out.  He walked around the corner and I forgot about it. 

Next thing I know, there's a big wet spot near the front door.  In the middle of the hall.  I was SHOCKED!  Muttin came over and stared at it too.  And sniggered.  I was SHOCKED!  Can I tell you I was shocked again to convey how shocked I was?  I knew it was Jeffrey who did it cause I could hear him behind the headboard in my room, where he goes to hide.  I looked at Muttin suspiciously, knowing his tendency to take the blame when she's the guilty one.  But I couldn't discount the fact that he'd just drank half a toilet bowl.

Then I Googled Doggie Diabetes.  If he does it again, we're off to the vet.