I had an epiphany today while watching the handyman snow-blow a path around the courtyard and around the building. Earlier, I had been outside in the parking lot, sweeping 8 inches of freshly fallen snow off the parked cars. I did the same thing yesterday, only about 6 inches. While doing so, I reflected within that I really enjoyed doing so - the sun was bright, the snow wasn't too heavy, and I knew most of the owners of the cars were either old, on walkers, in wheelchairs and they would appreciate it. I get true joy out of doing for them, because I know how it feels to not be able to do things. And it truly feels sooo good to be able to do it myself again. On my good days. To be thankful for the good days, I do for others.
Regarding moving to next door town, for the purpose of being 3-4 blocks closer to the river, where there is a walking path going around the river, and it's plowed in the winter = safe walking.
1. Cats will be exposed to much more traffic, neighbors, other cats, etc. They have back door patios, and my cats would be a bother. Here, they pretty much have the run of the courtyard, and they bother no-one cause no-one goes out there very much. We don't have outdoor acess to the courtyard. They have the garden area to hunt mice, should they decide to become more like cats, rather than dogs. They are safe from traffic.
2. The Curves in town is clear across town. Here, there is a gym about 2 blocks away, and my walking route goes right next to it during the summer. During the winter, the roads are slippery and dangerous.
Our apartment handyman had a snow blower today, and he made a path around the courtyard, and around the building. The snow is 2 feet deep back there. It took the visual for me to realize that is all I need - keep a damn path cleared and I don't have to move away. I HAVE to walk. I've gained 15 pounds back, and I could care less about living again, and I KNOW walking will fix that.
So, tomorrow, I am going to ask the landlady if she will commit to making a "sidewalk" for me in the winter, AND keep the garden area as a garden (she wants to plant grass), then I will stay here. I couldn't ask for a better place for my animals. The other issue was not being able to have bird/squirrel feeders. She told the new guy that he could have one. Hmmm.
The other place (I'm next on the list to be called and someone is going to a nursing home, so it's close) allows 1 small pet. I know I can get the two dogs approved, but the cats are iffy. I TRIED not to get attached, but damn. I am attached. We are a family of five.
As this epiphany was happening, I realized to what extent I've put my life on hold, because I have been planning to move for 3 years now. San Francisco is going to be years, I'm afraid. Unless I simply just go with no net underneath ... I'm not saying that I'm giving up - absolutely not.
Also, the new guy that moved in whom has so much in common with me? He and I have been walking together, and it's soooooo nice to have someone closer to my age around here that doesn't need help. Plus the fact that he's not boyfriend material is a good thing, cause we don't have that "thing" that complicates boy/girl relationships. He is an avid gardener too, and it will be soooo nice to have HELP out there, rather me being the one that does the majority of the physical work. Al tho the in common stuff is starting to get creepy. We both drive same year/make of car, we both used to drive Ford Explorers. We were both molested by fathers, and babysitters. We both used to work for Club Inc. We both used to have the same counselor. He sees auras and visions, as I do. Oh. Get this. He collects hearts. Yea ... like I said ...creepy.
Anyways. I am peaceful once again inside. I'll join Snap Fitness again, and start living like I live here, instead of mentally packing up and jumping ship. After moving furniture a couple weeks and making a walk-in closet, I have really been liking my apartment too.
SanFranMan is obsessed by politics lately. He really likes Hillary, to the point of imagining he and her have a personal relationship. All in his mind. He's been calling me every nite, and we argue about politics, and he talks about his daughter alot cause he's worried about her, and then we argue about Hillary and Obama some more. I originally liked Obama, but ever since Hillary showed her human side a couple weeks ago, showing how exhausted she is, I have come to like her better than Obama. He just doesn't have the experience, and she can hit the ground running, should she be elected. Our country is finally accepting the fact that a woman can be president ... and it's a HUGE plus that the first woman president (possibly) just happens to have the best experience one could ask for ... she was a First Lady 7 years ago. It's good Obama inspires and dreams - our country has hope again, I think. Either one, tho, is better than any of the other contenders, and I'm pretty sure we'll have a Democratic president this time around. Ideally? Clinton and Obama on the same ticket. Then 8 years for Clinton, and another 8 years for Obama ... just might fix the majority of our country's problems. Medical insurance, the war, illegal aliens, the recession, Medicare being the top priorities. Oh, and rebuilding our status as the greatest country in the world ...
I can't believe I veered off so much off the Epiphany Course.
Just Call Me